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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23997985">The Sun Swings East</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/kj_feybarn/pseuds/kj_feybarn'>kj_feybarn</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Healing, Healing takes time, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mace Windu is a good friend, Minor Character Death, Obi-Wan Kenobi Needs a Hug, Obi-Wan is majorly depressed, Palpatine likes his mind games, Psychological Trauma, So is Quinlan Vos, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, Temporary Character Death, Time Loop</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 21:35:14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>32,831</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23997985</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/kj_feybarn/pseuds/kj_feybarn</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Over and over, Obi-Wan woke up and wished he hadn't. </p>
<p>Palpatine wouldn't stop until Obi-Wan had Fallen, wouldn't stop until Obi-Wan gave Palpatine a shattered galaxy in payment for his release.</p>
<p>He couldn't save himself, Obi-Wan had come to terms with that.</p>
<p>What he hadn't realized was that didn't mean there was no way to be saved.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>CC-2224 | Cody/CT-7567 | Rex, CC-2224 | Cody/Obi-Wan Kenobi, CC-2224 | Cody/Obi-Wan Kenobi/CT-7567 | Rex, Obi-Wan Kenobi/CT-7567 | Rex</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>118</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>1731</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Jedi Journals, Star Wars Big Bang 2020, Suggested Good Reads, favourite fics from a galaxy far far away</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Witness the World Descend</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>PLEASE be aware that this story, primarily THIS chapter contains suicidal ideation followed by a suicide attempt and is from the POV of an incredibly depressed character who is feeling very, very hopeless.</p>
<p>If this would be triggering for you, please exercise self care and avoid!</p>
<p>The story title and chapter titles are taken from a very beautiful poem, 'Lines Written in the Days of Growing Darkness' by Mary Oliver.</p>
<p>ALSO, many thanks to TrickyTricky who beta'd this and undoubtedly made it better than it was before, and further thanks to HeroThief, Wrenette, and Litra who did art!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>Obi-Wan's body jerked back as the sensation of falling—if he could call his consciousness slamming back into his body falling—once again caught up with him.</p><p>The world around him went silent, and the Force settled into something that might have resembled peaceful if it weren't for Obi-Wan's own turmoil.</p><p>He clenched his fists—his palms were clean and whole, not the bloody, mangled things they'd become—and took in a deep breath, before opening his eyes.</p><p>Somehow the disappointment and despair were still as potent as ever when he saw that he was in his quarters on the Negotiator, sitting at his desk full of too many data pads, whole and unharmed. Or rather, relatively unharmed. His shoulder throbbed a little from a still-healing bruise and his ribs ached, though quite frankly he had no recollection of how he might have gotten those injuries.</p><p>The grief rose like a tidal wave, threatening to sweep him away. Once, Obi-Wan would have been anchored enough to withstand it, but his foundation was beginning to crumble and now Obi-Wan was more likely to drown than weather the storm.</p><p>He was hanging on for dear life.</p><p>He snorted, though it came out rough, as though it had gotten caught up with a sob. Dear life. No, there was nothing dear about this life, and he'd give it up gladly if that meant things would just <em>end.</em> But death meant nothing, death gave him nothing.</p><p>He buried his face in his hands, blocking out the sight of the room around him—wishing he could block out everything else just as easily. Force help him. He didn't know how much longer he could last.</p><p>His comm sounded, and he reached blindly for it. "General Kenobi, here."</p><p>Admiral Yularen's voice came through, tinny and grating as he requested Obi-Wan’s presence on the bridge.</p><p>It was easy to respond with rote words in an exchange that he had long-since memorized, only paying partial attention as he tried to pull himself together.</p><p>He was cracking, his sanity and his soul fracturing like glass.</p><p>He ended the comm call, clenching the device in his fist for a long moment as he considered his decisions. Go to the bridge, continue on. Or just... not. Just stay here in his small room and wait for it all to end.</p><p>Another choked noise escaped him, a sob masquerading as a heavy breath.</p><p>He forced it all down, took the tangled knot of emotions and boxed them away into a corner of his mind. It was unhealthy, an antithesis to how he’d been trained; it wasn't the way a Jedi was supposed to handle their grief.</p><p>He just... he couldn't.</p><p>It wasn't for lack of trying. He'd tried and tried to come to terms with his grief, to understand it, to let it go.</p><p>But it was like trying to empty Mon Cala's oceans with a leaky bucket.</p><p>There was just too much, and it went on and on without end.</p><p>So instead he blocked off the grief, or tried to, because that was the only way he could keep going.</p><p>He forced himself to his feet, his body moving on autopilot as his hands aimlessly shuffled the data pads into piles before he straightened his tunics and headed towards the door.</p><p>If his hand trembled as he waved the door open, well, there was no one around to notice.</p><p>By the time he walked out of his quarters he had managed to don the mask of capable-and-in-control General. The mask was wearing thin, tattered around the edges. But it was all he had, and if the past few iterations of this life were any indication, there was no one who would call him on it.</p><p>There was a war, and they all had their parts to play in it.</p><p>Jumper and Tonedeaf turned the corner ahead of him, their voices intent and serious. Something that wasn't quite joy tugged at Obi-Wan's heart.</p><p>He knew what they were arguing about, it was part two of a rather heated debate about whether Tonedeaf was capable of seducing Lullaby.</p><p>Obi-Wan had joined the argument a few times—it had been the 77<sup>th</sup> iteration, or was it the 78<sup>th</sup>, of this false-life; he'd been exhausted and breaking, and had needed to escape, even if only for a moment—the men had welcomed him into the discussion with ease. In the end, Tonedeaf proved correct. Though, that was likely due more to Lullaby's absolute willingness to be seduced by Tonedeaf, than from any actual seductive talent on the young trooper’s part.</p><p>Obi-Wan clung to the warmth of the memory as tightly as he could, even as that almost-happiness slipped through his fingers. Nothing lasted, not the joy, not the hope—however rarely hope showed up—not the comfort.</p><p>The only thing that lasted was despair.</p><p>He nodded to Tonedeaf and Jumper, the two men giving him respectful nods and small smiles as they passed, debate growing more energetic.</p><p>Obi-Wan kept walking, feeling his feet grow heavier and heavier as he made it closer to the bridge.</p><p>He stepped onto the bridge to the familiar sight of Anakin pacing back and forth, his arms folded behind him and his fists clenched. Anakin's fear and anger were a powerful whirlwind in the Force. Obi-Wan felt a faint shiver go down his back. He knew now how quickly that whirlwind could turn into a furious maelstrom of fire and destruction that would leave only ash and death behind.</p><p>Not for the first time, Obi-Wan wondered how he had let things get so out of hand that first time. How had he let Anakin slip so close to the edge?</p><p>Obi-Wan found his steps faltering as he made it further onto the bridge, inexorably exhausted. Was there any point to this?</p><p>Was there any point to another planning session where Obi-Wan parsed through minute variations of the same events, where no matter what change, it always led him back to that moment where he opened his eyes and saw his desk full of data pads?</p><p>Was there any point to saving Anakin? To saving the Jedi? To saving the clones? To saving the Republic? When in a single breath it could all be erased and Obi-Wan would find himself at the start all over again.</p><p>What was the <em>point</em>? Obi-Wan was broken and fractured, but at this moment he thought that even the slightest nudge might shatter him into a million tiny pieces from which he would have no chance of putting himself back together.</p><p>Some of his grief must have slipped into the Force, because Anakin's head jerked up, face turning towards Obi-Wan. But there was no concern there, no respite; Anakin's face was lined with a mix of hope and expectation. His priority right now was not his broken former Master, no, his priority was the rescue of the Chancellor.</p><p>Once upon a time Obi-Wan might have been proud that Anakin could put his attachment to Obi-Wan below his duty to the Republic.</p><p>The irony of it all wasn't lost on him.</p><p>Anakin was looking at Obi-Wan as though he thought Obi-Wan would already have a plan in place, ready to execute. Obi-Wan wasn't sure if it helped or not that Anakin was right. Even that first time, when Obi-Wan hadn't known everything he knew now, he'd had a plan.</p><p>In this, at least, Anakin still trusted that Obi-Wan had the power to fix the impossible.</p><p>At least there was one thing that Anakin trusted Obi-Wan with. He certainly didn't trust Obi-Wan with anything else.</p><p>It was an old wound now, but one that couldn't heal with how often it was ripped back open.</p><p>"Obi-Wan." Anakin's face shifted into a smile. "You're here. We've just received more information from Coruscant about the Chancellor's abduction. Our forces are managing to hold Grievous' ship within Coruscant's outer atmosphere for now.”</p><p>Obi-Wan nodded, tried to muster up a smile. "Excellent. We can work with that." He'd certainly done so some 200 times now.</p><p>Anakin turned away from him, not noticing how worn Obi-Wan's mask was. Or perhaps not caring.</p><p>It was always so difficult for Obi-Wan to tell.</p><p>Obi-Wan took a deep breath, doing his best to shore up his fracturing mind, and once again stepped forward.</p><p>Cody glanced at him, brow furrowed in concern.</p><p>Where Anakin almost never noticed, Cody almost always did.</p><p>Obi-Wan gave Cody a smile, internally wincing when Cody's frown deepened as though he saw straight through the mask that Obi-Wan was wearing.</p><p>No matter. There was nothing Cody could do.</p><p>Obi-Wan stepped up to the holo table displaying what information they'd been sent.</p><p>"I think I might have a plan." Around the table, Anakin, Cody, Rex, and Yularen all looked at him expectantly. Obi-Wan turned towards Anakin. "I'm sure you'll love it." Anakin always did.</p><p>From across the holo table Cody sighed. "I'm going to hate it, aren't I?"</p><p>A hint of genuine amusement managed to slip into Obi-Wan's smile. Cody <em>did</em> hate it; not a single iteration that Obi-Wan had used this plan had gone by without Cody lecturing him on insane risks and ridiculously stupid plans. "Oh, yes. I daresay you will."</p><p>Beside him Captain Rex snorted, sending Cody an amused look while Anakin folded his arms. “Well, don’t leave us in suspense.”</p><p>Obi-Wan nodded and started detailing the plan they'd used the very first iteration of this blasted life, before everything had begun careening through all nine levels of Corellian Hell.</p><p>There were changes of course.</p><p>Obi-Wan had heard Oddball die too many times to let him or any of the other men fly in support. He knew this flight by heart, he wouldn't endanger his men.</p><p>While he talked Obi-Wan mused over whether he should let Palpatine die this time.</p><p>It was one of the sure-fire ways to start the loop over again.</p><p>There had been a few loops—far enough into this living hell that the horror had fully sunk into his soul, but before Obi-Wan had fully realized how very hopeless it all was—where Obi-Wan had systematically, and at times creatively, killed Palpatine as quickly as possible.</p><p>The Sith Lord had not been amused, and that next iteration he had forced Obi-Wan to watch as he'd tortured Anakin into near insanity before laughing—that cold, chilling sound that made Obi-Wan feel sick—and sending him back.</p><p>Which didn't mean that Obi-Wan couldn't kill Palpatine.</p><p>No, the man seemed to take some sort of perverse pleasure out of it. He always talked about the hate that flowed through Obi-Wan, about the fracture points the Sith could see lining Obi-Wan's soul.</p><p>The worst part was that the Sith wasn't wrong.</p><p>Obi-Wan <em>hated</em> him. Hated him like Obi-Wan hadn't known it was possible to hate anything. It was a seed of poison he could feel growing within him, trying to taint everything it touched.</p><p>For all that Obi-Wan tried, he couldn't manage to release this hate. Couldn’t work his way through it to the point of being able to release it to the Force. No, by this point all Obi-Wan could do was try and keep the hate from tainting and completely overtaking him.</p><p>"What do you think, General Kenobi?"</p><p>Obi-Wan looked up, smiling at Yularen. It was a good thing that he knew almost exactly how this planning session went and could quickly determine at what point in the conversation they were so that he could quickly point out the weakness in the Admiral's suggestion without drawing attention to the absolute lack of attention he was paying.</p><p>Commander Cody was looking at him again, lips pursed. His Commander was far too observant for Obi-Wan's good, and knew him far too well.</p><p>Obi-Wan averted his eyes. His gaze fell on the blaster hanging from Cody's hip.</p><p>How many times now, had that weapon killed him?</p><p>Something painful was knotting in Obi-Wan's throat. More grief. It had taken Obi-Wan a good dozen iterations to learn about the chips and how they worked. Another three to figure out how to disable them. Two more to figure out how to permanently neutralize them.</p><p>But that wasn't always enough.</p><p>No, Palpatine liked to remind Obi-Wan who was in control, and playing his hand with the chips early was one of his favorite ways.</p><p>It was Cody—Cody who was always by his side, Cody who had watched his back for so long that Obi-Wan couldn't imagine entrusting his safety to anyone else, Cody who Obi-Wan couldn't imagine raising his saber against, not even in defense—who most often dealt that final blow.</p><p>A deserved death.</p><p>That didn't stop Obi-Wan from wanting to retch every time he opened his eyes after he met his end in that way.</p><p>Obi-Wan closed his eyes for a second, trying to push the rising grief back down to more manageable levels.</p><p>He felt Cody shift, as though he wanted to move around the table to stand by Obi-Wan's side.</p><p>Concern.</p><p>Force, not a good sign, normally Obi-Wan kept himself together enough that Cody didn't so noticeably react. Not that Obi-Wan ever thought he'd really managed to fly under Cody's radar, but, well... Obi-Wan was starting to shatter. Worse, he was losing the ability to hide it.</p><p>He forced his eyes open, giving Cody his most reassuring smile.</p><p>Cody didn't seem at all reassured.</p><p>But Obi-Wan didn't have the ability to actually give Cody the assurance that he really needed, there was no such comfort to give. So he focused back on the plans, trying to make himself pay attention.</p><p>Commander Cody followed his lead, joining the planning session again.</p><p>Things managed to get back on track from there and Obi-Wan breathed a sigh of relief.</p><p>Too soon. Cody took that moment to suggest, <em>again</em>, that Oddball fly protection. Obi-Wan steeled himself. EH’d yet to get through this portion of the meeting without argument.</p><p>But he wouldn't let Oddball die needlessly.</p><p>Obi-Wan had been through this flight countless times, he wouldn't make the mistakes he'd made the first several times.</p><p>Needless to say, he couldn't exactly explain that to Cody.</p><p>To Cody it just looked like Obi-Wan was being reckless.</p><p>Luckily for Obi-Wan, he'd gone through this argument more times than he could count, and he knew he was in the right. (There had been a few extra times when he <em>had</em> admittedly been a little reckless. He couldn't be sure, as most of those times ended with either him or Palpatine dead and the loop starting over, but Cody would have probably wanted to murder him—and Obi-Wan couldn't keep using that turn of phrase, given how many times that <em>had</em> happened—for any and all of those plans.)</p><p>Obi-Wan tilted his chin up, channeling every inch of control and command he had. "I appreciate your input, Commander, as I always have. But Oddball and his squad will not be following Anakin and I. We <em>can</em> make the flight, and we won't needlessly put our men in danger."</p><p>Admiral Yularen frowned. "This is a rescue of the Chancellor, General Kenobi, I don't think we should be taking any risks, no matter how talented you and General Skywalker are."</p><p>Obi-Wan turned his gaze on the Admiral, raising a single eyebrow, before turning back to the plans. "Does anyone else have a suggestion to share?" Admiral Yularen seemed a little taken aback; frankly Obi-Wan couldn't remember if he'd ever so completely dismissed the Admiral in the time before... well, the time before all of this had happened.</p><p>How long had he even been stuck in this trap? A few of his iterations had lasted only hours, but then there had been loops that had gone on for <em>years</em>. The longest had been—how long had it been? Three years?</p><p>That sounded right.</p><p>He swallowed heavily, trying to forget those three years.</p><p>The whole galaxy had been in ruins; it had been Obi-Wan, six younglings, and Anakin and Padme's twin children, running from everyone and everything.</p><p>He didn't know why Palpatine had let him run for so long. Maybe he'd just been taking the opportunity to practice the overthrowing of a government. Or perhaps he'd been cackling over the futility of Obi-Wan's actions.</p><p>Obi-Wan wasn't going to pretend to understand the mind of a Sith Lord, much less a Sith Lord like Palpatine.</p><p>But with all the different iterations, some lasting no longer than it took for Obi-Wan to blow up Grievous' ship, others lasting years... <em>Force</em>, he didn't know. He didn't know how long he'd been trapped here.</p><p>The thought shook him, and he had to carefully place his hand on the edge of the holo table to steady himself.</p><p>His mind seemed to have been stripped of every thought that wasn't horrified, anguished desperation.</p><p>He couldn't do it. He <em>couldn't</em>.</p><p>He couldn't withstand an eternity of this.</p><p><em>Force</em>.</p><p>Rex's elbow brushed against his, a subtle attempt to bring him back to the present moment without drawing attention to his distraction. Obi-Wan tried desperately, staring at the different details on the holo table of the upcoming battle.</p><p>It was a battle they could win, Obi-Wan knew. They'd won it before.</p><p>Just another battle in a war that Obi-Wan was losing, in a war that, if Obi-Wan was truly honest with himself, he had already lost.</p><p>He couldn't breathe.</p><p>No, no he couldn't lose it. Not right now. Not while he was on the bridge, not where Anakin and their men would see.</p><p>He clenched his fists, digging his nails into the palm of his hand, desperate to pull himself from the brink.</p><p>He felt liquid, warm and sticky, and the sensation pulled him from his impending hyperventilation.</p><p>Force. He'd drawn blood.</p><p>He drew back a little, shaking out his robes to make sure they covered his hands, as he glanced around the table. Anakin seemed distracted, and Obi-Wan breathed a sigh of relief. Anakin somehow hadn't noticed, too many other concerns on his mind, or maybe the Force was feeling merciful.</p><p>Not merciful enough, as both Cody and Rex were giving him concerned looks.</p><p>He quickly turned back to the battle plans, throwing out a suggestion to try and distract the both of them.</p><p>Cody gave him a pointed look, as though he saw straight through Obi-Wan's rather paltry attempt, but turned back to the table willingly enough.</p><p>Twice now. Twice he'd lost focus, had almost fallen apart. <em>Twice</em> in one planning session.</p><p>Obi-Wan hadn't been this much of a mess since that first time he'd repeated this, when he hadn't known what was going on. And that had been before he'd ever learned about the chips and thought that Cody and the rest of the men were planning on turning on him and killing him. He hadn't even truly understood why Anakin had fallen.</p><p>He hadn't even really understood how he'd gotten here then.</p><p>He felt as lost and as hopeless now as he'd felt then. More so. At least then he'd been able to cling to the delusion that he might be able to fix things.</p><p>And he had. Not that first time, not if he was being fully honest. No, then he'd taken Palpatine out, dying in the process, and left the rest of the clean up for the survivors.</p><p>Or that had been the plan, at least, except that it had only restarted the loop. But Obi-Wan hadn't known yet what sort of torture he was trapped in.</p><p>It was tempting, so tempting, to just... not try. Not Fall. Not break. But to just stop. Wasn't this the definition of insanity, doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results?</p><p>Sure, his methods might change. But he was trying to fix things in a situation where he knew it didn't matter. It all just got reset.</p><p>The lives he saved. The deaths he caused. Anything he managed to alter..</p><p>All gone, as though none of it had ever happened.</p><p>Shattering. He was shattering.</p><p>Obi-Wan wanted to believe that he wouldn't Fall. Wanted to believe that it didn't matter how many times Palpatine made him relive these days, that Obi-Wan would stay firmly in the light.</p><p>But could he hold off against an infinity of hopelessness? Of darkness? An infinity where nothing he did mattered?</p><p>An infinity he could escape in only one way.</p><p>No. No. Focus on the plans.</p><p>He tuned back in to listen to Admiral Yularen and Cody as they deliberated over when and where they should come out of hyperspace, weighing the risk of coming out too close to the fight versus the advantage surprise would give them.</p><p>He watched them blankly, trying desperately to muster up the energy to talk, to say something.</p><p>His eyes fell on Cody's blaster again.</p><p>A terrible thought was starting to form in his mind.</p><p>There was only one way out.</p><p>Palpatine would only let this end when Obi-Wan had Fallen.</p><p>There was a chance then, that if Obi-Wan Fell, and then, and only then, killed Palpatine, that this might end.</p><p>It would be worth it.</p><p>What was Obi-Wan's soul in comparison to the galaxy's freedom? But every time Obi-Wan so much as considered the thought, the Force pulled at him, pleading with him.</p><p>Some part of Obi-Wan wanted to ignore the Force.</p><p>What good did the Force do him now? It had done nothing to help him. It had abandoned him.</p><p>And yet...</p><p>Yet it still wrapped around him, whispering promises of peace. And while those promises felt more and more like empty lies...</p><p>Obi-Wan couldn't pull his eyes from Cody's blaster.</p><p>Obi-Wan's death never did anything more than start the loop over.</p><p>But that was at the hand of enemies or a sacrifice play to either take down an enemy or to save someone else.</p><p>Palpatine wouldn't stop until Obi-Wan had Fallen, wouldn't stop until Obi-Wan gave Palpatine a shattered galaxy in payment for his release.</p><p>But if Palpatine thought that Obi-Wan was breaking, not towards Darkness but to something else altogether…</p><p>Obi-Wan swallowed hard, the sudden swell of longing taking him by surprise.</p><p>A loophole, or at least Obi-Wan hoped that was what this was. An escape route.</p><p>He could be done.</p><p>No more repeating the same mistakes in so many different ways. No more watching the world burn down around him. No more failure after failure, with a few mockeries of success thrown into the mix.</p><p>Just... nothingness.</p><p>Just him and the Force.</p><p>His hands were shaking.</p><p>"Cody." His voice didn't even sound like his own as he interrupted Anakin. "Could I see your blaster for just a moment?"</p><p>Cody glanced at him, brows furrowed in confusion. But Cody trusted him, something Obi-Wan had ample evidence that he did not deserve, and willingly handed over his blaster, passing it over the holo table.</p><p>Anakin rolled his eyes before continuing with his contribution to the plan, something about R2 that Obi-Wan knew would be agreed to.</p><p>Obi-Wan stared at the blaster in his hands, watched as his hands stilled from the way there were shaking. He couldn’t tear his eyes away from the small smear of blood left behind from his still-bleeding palm on an exposed part of the blaster’s grip.</p><p>It felt almost like a dream.</p><p>Like Obi-Wan's hands were moving without his full permission.</p><p>This would work.</p><p>He shifted the blaster, raising it to the bottom of his jaw.</p><p>This <em>had</em> to work.</p><p>It would be quick. Nearly painless. A kinder death than Obi-Wan deserved.</p><p>But perhaps fate could give him this one mercy, after all, it had already extracted so many painful deaths and even more painful lives.</p><p>Obi-Wan didn't know what he would do if this didn't work.</p><p>Cody's voice was sharp and demanding, he was throwing himself forward, towards Obi-Wan in an attempt to stop this. Anakin's eyes were panicked, hand stretched out to pull at the blaster with the Force.</p><p>Obi-Wan stepped back, finger squeezing the trigger.</p><p>Someone crashed into him from the side, pushing at the blaster causing the bolt to sear heat across the side of his face, and then he was falling backwards.</p><p>Rex was straddling him, wrestling the blaster out of Obi-Wan's hands, practically throwing the weapon away from them before hands were pinning Obi-Wan's wrists to the ground and away from anything else he might have been able to use to do the job properly.</p><p>No.</p><p>No. He'd needed this to work.</p><p>Rex was staring down at him, eyes wide and terrified.</p><p>He didn't have anything else.</p><p>Around him the bridge was loud, too many words that Obi-Wan couldn't bring himself to understand.</p><p>Obi-Wan <em>shattered</em>.</p><p>"Please. Please. I can't. I can't do this. Please. Just let me end it. I need it to end. Please." The words were pouring out of his mouth, desperate and begging. "Please. I can't do this. I can't. I can't. This is the only way. It's the only way. Please."</p><p>Rex just shook his head, and his lips were moving, trying to calm him, or comfort him, or maybe Rex was cursing him out. Obi-Wan couldn't actually hear past the rushing in his ears and his mind's desperate pleas for release, for peace.</p><p>And then suddenly Coarse was there, hypo in one of the medic’s hands. The look in his eyes a familiar sort of desperate.</p><p>He felt cold, just against his skin.</p><p>"Please." It was nothing more than a whisper now, and he knew that they wouldn't listen.</p><p>Why didn't they understand? There were small beads of warmth slipping down his cheeks. Tears.</p><p>The world was going gray around him. And why? Why wouldn't they let him die?</p><p> </p><p>—</p><p> </p><p>The world returned slowly, with the sensation of someone's hand running through his hair. The hum of the hyperdrive. The smell of bacta and cleaning detergent familiar to the med bay. Confusion and concern and a deep, heavy fear lingering in the Force.</p><p>The memory of what he'd done. What he'd tried to do.</p><p>He opened his eyes, blinking slowly as he stared at the ceiling of the Negotiator's med bay.</p><p>From the corner of his eye he saw Boil.</p><p>Good, loyal Boil, who smiled a little less now that Waxer was gone.</p><p>"General." Boil's voice was soft, careful. Like Obi-Wan was a shiny who'd just gotten out of his first battle to find he was the only one from his batch left.</p><p>Obi-Wan had heard that tone too many times throughout the war. Too many good men, killed.</p><p>"Boil." Obi-Wan's voice was scratchy, how long had they kept him unconscious? "What happened?"</p><p>Boil hesitated. "What do you remember?"</p><p>Obi-Wan felt another swell of grief wash over him. He'd been so close.</p><p>"I had Cody's blaster, I tried to..." Boil's face didn't change, but Obi-Wan could practically feel him flinch in the Force. "I'm sorry." Obi-Wan said quietly. "I shouldn't have made you see that."</p><p>He should have returned to his cabin and just put his lightsaber through his heart.</p><p>Something of his thought must have shown, either in his face or his voice, because Boil tensed, fear rocketing through the Force.</p><p>"General." Boil's voice broke. "You can't..." Boil took a deep breath in. "We need you, General."</p><p>"You don't." Obi-Wan whispered. "All I'll bring you is pain."</p><p>"No, General." Boil shook his head. "You can't believe that."</p><p>It was the truth though. Obi-Wan had failed them that first time and every time after.</p><p>Another thought occurred to him. "Boil? Are you hurt? Why are you in the med bay? Should you be up like this?"</p><p>Boil shushed him quietly, fingers once again combing through his hair. "It's fine, General. I'm fine. But someone had to be here on watch."</p><p>On watch. For him.</p><p>To keep Obi-Wan from trying again. He swallowed hard. "What happened, after?"</p><p>Boil frowned. "I should call for Coarse, sir."</p><p>Obi-Wan shook his head. "No. No, Coarse is needed wherever he is."</p><p>"Then the Commander."</p><p>Something cold and painful shriveled in Obi-Wan's chest. Force. Commander Cody. Obi-Wan couldn't face him.</p><p>"No. I can't—"</p><p>But it was too late, Cody had always seemed to have a sixth sense when it came to Obi-Wan—the sort of timing that would have made Obi-Wan think Cody was Force sensitive if Obi-Wan hadn't known for a fact that he wasn't—and he chose that moment to walk through the med bay doors, Rex close behind him.</p><p>Cody was wearing his helmet, hiding his face from Obi-Wan's view, but Obi-Wan didn't need to see his expression to read him.</p><p>Cody was furious.</p><p>Furious and scared.</p><p>"General." Obi-Wan flinched back. The word had come out sharp and curt, and it was like a lash against his already bleeding heart.</p><p>Cody must have seen the flinch, as his whole body seemed to shudder. Rex moved the slightest bit forward, and their elbows knocked together.</p><p>The two of them were always stronger together.</p><p>"General." Softer this time. "You're awake."</p><p>Obi-Wan nodded. "What's happened since..." there was no good way to put it, not in a way that didn't seem tactless. "What happened, after?"</p><p>Cody cleared his throat. "General Skywalker implemented the plan we'd come up with, though Master Windu took your place. The Chancellor was rescued and Count Dooku killed." Cody hesitated, and it was so unlike him that Obi-Wan already knew what had happened. "General Grievous escaped, sir. And Master Windu..." Cody paused again. "He didn't survive, sir."</p><p>The grief was a familiar sensation, and yet it never seemed to lose its potency.</p><p>How had it happened? Had Anakin left Mace to die, the way Anakin had once refused to leave Obi-Wan? Had Dooku or Grievous gotten lucky? Or perhaps Palpatine had wanted to take the opportunity to execute a bit of revenge?</p><p>Did it matter?</p><p>However it had happened, it was Obi-Wan's fault.</p><p>Would it ever stop hurting?</p><p>Did Obi-Wan want it to? Would being numb protect him? Or just hasten his inevitable, downward descent?</p><p>And it was inevitable, wasn't it?</p><p>It seemed clearer now, if all the more painful, that Palpatine would have taken the way Obi-Wan had broken down as a sign that he was getting closer to breaking apart in such a way that Palpatine would be free to put him back together however the Sith Lord pleased.</p><p>There was a soft brush of cold plastoid against his wrist, and he looked down to see Cody's still gauntleted hand resting tentatively against his own.</p><p>An attempt to comfort him.</p><p>Obi-Wan clung to it desperately.</p><p>To the brush of a hand against his, to the feel of Boil still trying to soothe him with fingers through his hair, to the love and care that was the core emotion behind the fury and the fear caused by Obi-Wan's foolish and desperate attempt to be free.</p><p>He clung to all of it, trying to store it, trying to remember it, trying to use that love and care to fill all the broken cracks inside of him.</p><p>"General." Cody's voice was almost unbearably gentle. "I know the losses in the outer rim were—" Cody stopped and it was Rex who stepped forward to finish for him.</p><p>"Between Mandalore and the Outer Rim Sieges the losses have been—" and here even Rex paused, but when he spoke there was nothing but the faint tremble in the Force to show he was hurting. "The losses have been tremendous."</p><p>It was a different sort of guilt that hit Obi-Wan then. It had been so long. So long since those sieges. So long since those deaths.</p><p>They felt like another life altogether.</p><p>Obi-Wan couldn't save any of them. Not Satine, not his men. He couldn't give them even a few seconds more of life, before it was all wiped clean again.</p><p>His Commander spoke again, and there was a note of entreat, as though Cody was begging Obi-Wan. "But we're getting so close. You can't lose hope now. Dooku is dead, Grievous is being tracked. It'll be over. The war will be over soon.”</p><p>Obi-Wan had thought that once.</p><p>"It won't." The words were ripped from his throat, desperation demanding it. "It won't ever be over for me. This is all there is. Death, death, and more death. And then it starts all over again."</p><p>He could feel his Commander preparing to say something, but he pushed on. Now that he had started he couldn't stop.</p><p>"It's a trap," he told them, because he was tired and alone and he had just shattered, forcing them to watch as he self-destructed in front of them. "It's a never-ending loop, starting here and going through the last days of the war. It doesn't matter what I do, I always end back here. <em>He</em> won't let me escape. Not until I break."</p><p>In a kind world, Palpatine would watch Obi-Wan break, would see him Fall, and would kill him. A final victory.</p><p>But Obi-Wan knew better. This wasn't a kind world. Palpatine wouldn't be happy until Obi-Wan had Fallen so far he'd be willing to break the entire galaxy into a mirror image of his shattered soul and handed it to Palpatine on a silver platter.</p><p>Around him, the three men hesitated, clearly unsure what to say. Wondering if he was crazy.</p><p>He was.</p><p>He was insane.</p><p>But he wasn't wrong.</p><p>"What does that mean, exactly?" Rex asked, voice careful.</p><p>Obi-Wan swallowed. "You won't believe me."</p><p>They would, actually. Obi-Wan had told Cody, once. Cody had believed him, had helped him.</p><p>It hadn't mattered in the end.</p><p>Nothing did.</p><p>What he said or did now didn't matter.</p><p>And if it didn't matter, then perhaps Obi-Wan could steal just a moment of peace. A moment where he wasn't alone in the galaxy.</p><p>And so he told them.</p><p>He told them about the first life. About saving the Chancellor, about taking the 212<sup>th</sup> to Utapau, about killing Grievous.</p><p>He told them about the cannon blast knocking him from a cliff. The shot taken by his men and ordered by Cody. He could feel his men stiffen, unwilling to believe that they would ever turn on him. He didn't give them space to talk, forcing himself to finish the story.</p><p>He told them about Coruscant, about the temple filled with the corpses of Jedi and clones both, killed by each other. He told them about what Anakin had done. About the younglings that had trusted in their hero and been slaughtered for that trust.</p><p>Rex didn't want to believe him any more than Cody or Boil had believed that they'd turn on him.</p><p>The 501<sup>st</sup> would follow General Skywalker anywhere, anywhere but against an unsuspecting temple filled with younglings who trusted them.</p><p>He told them about going to Padme, about Mustafar. He told them about a duel that Obi-Wan had never wanted to fight and that Anakin had never imagined he'd lose.</p><p>He confessed, heart breaking even though it had been so many lives ago, about taking Anakin's life with a single, unstoppable blow to the neck after he'd begged Anakin not to jump.</p><p>He told them about how Palpatine had found him there, cradling the body of his brother, how Palpatine had stared at his Fallen apprentice and <em>laughed</em>.</p><p>Obi-Wan could still remember the way Palpatine had looked at him then. That moment, Obi-Wan had realized only with hindsight, had been when Palpatine had chosen Obi-Wan to be his new apprentice.</p><p>In that life, Obi-Wan never made it off Mustafar. Those last few hours, days, maybe even weeks, remained a blur as Palpatine had dug into him with tools, and lightsaber, and with the Force, tearing him apart and demanding he break. Demanding he <em>submit</em>.</p><p>Only when Obi-Wan had been too weak to continue surviving, had been hanging inches away from death, had Palpatine decided that there was a far more satisfying way to break him.</p><p>Over 200 lives into this torture and still Obi-Wan didn't know what wretched Sith curse this was.</p><p>His men had fallen silent, not even a word of protest as they listened to him talk.</p><p>About that second life that ended in only a few short hours when Obi-Wan had blown up Grievous' ship, killing himself, Anakin, Dooku, Grievous, and Palpatine all in that single blast.</p><p>Of the third life where he died in the temple under the constant wave of the 501<sup>st</sup> as he tried to get the younglings out through the secret passageways.</p><p>He begged for forgiveness as he explained how long it had taken him to learn about the chips, how long it had taken him to save them.</p><p>How long he had gone, believing that they were capable of everything he'd seen them do.</p><p>He told them about how he and Cody had discovered the signal that would stun the chips for a short time, about the device they'd only realized they needed three lives later, that would more permanently disable the chips.</p><p>He spoke brokenly, words mixing together, about how Palaptine would sometimes send the order early, just because he could and he liked watching Obi-Wan break apart when he woke up back at the beginning, after he let Cody kill him.</p><p>Cody's hand twitched in his own, grip tightening to the point of pain, but Obi-Wan wouldn't, <em>couldn't</em>, draw his hand away from his Commander.</p><p>He told them about searching the archives for help, about getting so close to finding an answer just to wake up, loop ended early as Palpatine stopped him. He told them about trying again and again, until Palpatine preemptively burned the temple archives, younglings trapped inside, forcing Obi-Wan to listen to the children as they screamed.</p><p>He told them about going to the Council for help.</p><p>Of going to Mace for help.</p><p>Of going to Anakin.</p><p>To the 212<sup>th</sup>.</p><p>He told them about the times when it felt like he'd been so close to succeeding.</p><p>And about those lives where everything ended up so, <em>so</em> much worse.</p><p>He admitted to running away, how Palpatine had once let him live for nearly a year, wondering if he'd escaped the nightmare he'd been trapped in—even as he watched as another nightmare took over the Galaxy at the hands of Anakin and his new Master.</p><p>He told them about the babies, about Luke and Leia, and how sometimes they were the only lights left in the infinite darkness.</p><p>And how sometimes they died with their mother, and Obi-Wan was left alone, surrounded by corpses.</p><p>He told them about the time the Senate ordered the clones to march on the Temple and how they had all refused; how eventually, all of them had been killed, clones and Jedi together, by a constant barrage of air strikes.</p><p>He didn't tell them everything.</p><p>There was too much now, to tell them everything.</p><p>This wasn't for them anyways. Obi-Wan was trapped, Palpatine the only one who knew what was happening. It had been too many lives since Obi-Wan had allowed himself to break around anyone who cared about him.</p><p>And they did. Even when Obi-Wan admitted how many times he wasn't able to save them. Even when he whispered about how easily he had believed the worst of them those first few times through the loop.</p><p>Their hands held his own, their fingers slid comfortingly through his hair, their presence in the Force remained steady and warm, shifting from disbelief to the quiet horror that came with acceptance, but somehow, even as he confessed to the worst of his sins, they were never horrified of him.</p><p>He told them about waking up, over and over, staring at the desk full of too many datapads and how sometimes he broke down there, in his office, because he couldn't do this <em>again</em>.</p><p>Then getting up and trying again anyways.</p><p>He admitted, voice and heart broken, that he was terrified. There was only so much he could do, only so much he could take. There was only so much he could withstand and he'd gone past that point so long ago he wasn't sure how he was still standing.</p><p>He whispered, shame filling him, that he had considered Falling, with the hope that if he killed Palpatine after Falling, that it would finally end the loop, stopped only by the Force's quiet plea that he not.</p><p>He told them about waking up, exhausted down to the depths of his soul, because he didn't know what else he was supposed to do, and dying by his own hand had seemed just as reasonable a choice as anything else, and it carried with it the faint hope that Palpatine would consider him too broken to bother with.</p><p>"What can we do?" Cody asked quietly, after Obi-Wan had finally run out of words.</p><p>Obi-Wan forced a smile. "Nothing." He shook his head. "There's nothing to be done."</p><p>Cody's hand tightened around Obi-Wan's own. "No, I can't believe that. There must be something. Anything. We've beat worse."</p><p>They hadn't. They had never faced anything like this before. But Obi-Wan understood anyway.</p><p>"Don't leave me." He whispered. "Not during this life."</p><p>Let Obi-Wan have these moments, these memories, of a time when the world wasn't a nightmare.</p><p>"I won't." Cody whispered. "I won't leave you."</p><p>Rex's voice was soft. "Not for a single moment, General."</p><p>Boil's promise echoed theirs. "We're here."</p><p>It was ten seconds of peace, of broken hope that knew better than to believe.</p><p>And then the Force was rippling, as the world seemed to crack around the edges, reality breaking apart, the entire world screaming, the way it always did, as time, life, and the Force bent to the cruel will of a madman.</p><p>Obi-Wan closed his eyes, feeling a tear slip pass a close eyelid. "Not yet, please."</p><p>His men didn't let go of him, their grips tightening as though they were trying to keep him present in a world that was already tearing at the seams to be remade.</p><p>"General. Obi-Wan." Cody's voice was fierce and desperate, and Obi-Wan opened his eyes to see Cody staring at him, eyes wide and afraid. "Don't give up. Please."</p><p>Obi-Wan shook his head.</p><p>Cody's grip on his hand was tight to the point of being painful, not malice or punishment, just desperation. "Please, General. Promise me. Promise me you won't give up."</p><p>"Cody. I—" He couldn't promise. Not when he still felt so close to falling apart.</p><p>"Please."</p><p>“I—"</p><p>He never got to finish the sentence, the world falling away.</p><p>Obi-Wan's body jerked back as the sensation of falling—if he could call his consciousness slamming back into his body falling—once again caught up with him.</p><p>The world around him went silent, and the Force settled into something that might have resembled peaceful if it weren't for Obi-Wan's own turmoil.</p><p>He didn't want to open his eyes. He wanted to pretend for just a second longer that he was back in the med bay with people who cared about him, with people who knew the truth.</p><p>But no one knew now, no one but him and Palpatine.</p><p>He opened his eyes.</p><p>Somehow the disappointment and despair were still as potent as ever when he saw that he was in his quarters on the Negotiator, sitting at his desk full of too many data pads.</p><p>The grief rose like a tidal wave, threatening to sweep him away. </p><p>He was hanging on for dear life.</p><p>He buried his face in his hands, blocking out the sight of the room around him—wishing he could block everything else out just as easily. Force help him. He didn't know how much longer he could last.</p><p>
  <em>"Please, General. Promise me. Promise me you won't give up."</em>
</p><p>Cody had begged it of him. Had begged him to not give up.</p><p>But Obi-Wan hadn't promised. And Cody wouldn't remember either way.</p><p>His comm sounded, and he reached blindly for it. "General Kenobi, here."</p><p>Admiral Yularen's voice came through the comm, tinny and grating as the Admiral requested his presence on the bridge.</p><p>
  <em>"Please, General. Promise me. Promise me you won't give up."</em>
</p><p>Obi-Wan pushed himself to his feet, exhaustion already weighing him down, a heavy, suffocating thing.</p><p>He hadn't promised Cody he wouldn't give up. Obi-Wan didn't think he had it in him to promise anyone that, not even Cody.</p><p>But perhaps, perhaps for Cody he could promise just one more life. One more loop.</p><p>He could make it one more.</p><p>"I promise that much, Cody." The words were for him alone. No Cody to hear, and this Cody, on the bridge of the ship and only a few hours younger than the Cody Obi-Wan had just left, wouldn't understand the words anyways. "One more life. One more try. But that's all I can promise you."</p><p>He'd survived over 200 iterations, he could survive one more.</p><p> </p><p>
  
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  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. The Vitality of What Will Be</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Cody stumbled, barely catching himself against the table next to him, head spinning with a sensation like falling through hyperspace, except it wasn't <em>space</em> he was falling through, and then the world sharpened into its normal clarity.</p><p>An almost overwhelming desire to throw up hit him; he breathed deeply, trying to get his body back under his control.</p><p>Beside him he could hear Rex doing the same, a quiet curse slipping out between a few heavy, labored breaths.</p><p>"Cody?" Rex's voice was quiet, confusion lacing his tone with a hint of unease that matched Cody's own. Cody almost shushed him, an insistent voice in his mind demanding they take every precaution to ensure they would not be discovered.</p><p>What, exactly, was in danger of being discovered, Cody was still trying to wrap his head around. All of his instincts told him to tread carefully, and Cody knew better than to ignore them.</p><p>Cody didn't answer immediately, straightening slowly to take in his surroundings.</p><p>He was on the bride of the Negotiator, Rex beside him. General Skywalker was a few feet away, pacing back and forth, completely oblivious to the way both Cody and Rex had lost their balance for no discernible reason. Admiral Yularen was a few steps away, and Cody watched him disconnect from his comm.</p><p>General Kenobi. He'd just called for General Kenobi.</p><p>He glanced around the bridge, trying not to broadcast his confusion or unease. No need to panic his brothers. A few of the vod'e had noticed the way he and Rex had stumbled, and their eyes were sharp with concern, waiting to see if something was wrong, if they needed help.</p><p>Boil was staring too, but where the others looked concerned, Boil looked as though he'd recently fought back his own bout of nausea. The sergeant was now staring at Cody and Rex with the same confused horror that Cody felt.</p><p>Him, Boil, and Rex.</p><p>It had been the three of them who had been in the Medbay with the General just moments before. Clinging to him while General Kenobi had started begging an unseen presence to <em>please, please not yet.</em></p><p>Cody forced his attention to the holo table in front of him, storing that memory of the General away with the other images Cody didn't want to remember—General Kenobi shifting <em>Cody's</em> blaster to his head was another new addition to that dark corner of his mind, and the nausea rose again just thinking about it. He focused instead on the information on the table relaying the situation above Coruscant.</p><p>The Chancellor was being held captive by Grievous.</p><p>And if his General's terrible recounting could be believed, if Cody’s <em>own</em> memories of General Skywalker’s reports were to be believed—and Cody didn't <em>want</em> to believe it, it was too terrible, too monstrous—Dooku was also in that ship. Though that information hadn't been in any of the reports they'd been given.</p><p>Just a small trap, in a bigger trap, inside what was the biggest kriffin' trap in the entire galaxy. His whole <em>existence</em> was just one tiny cog among countless others, all meticulously crafted for the sole purpose of ensuring the ultimate destruction of everything that held any value in his miserable life.</p><p>Not thinking about it right now.</p><p>He remembered his General's broken recounting of an endless loop he couldn't escape. Remembered feeling the General being pulled away from him while Cody clutched at him, trying desperately to keep his General with them. Trying desperately to pull a promise from his General to just hold on a little longer. To <em>survive</em>.</p><p>His General hadn't promised.</p><p>Something that Cody recognized as fear twisted through his chest. Cody wasn't Force sensitive, but he'd felt the waves of heavy grief, the absolute, soul crushing hopelessness his General hadn't been able to contain.</p><p>His General hadn't promised.</p><p>And then there had been <em>something</em>. A sensation, a presence. It had reminded him of the feeling he got when General Kenobi caught him at the end of a long fall, that indescribable feeling of love and trust and determination holding him tight and keeping Cody safe. This sensation had been different, not his General but something impossibly stronger, grasping at him and <em>pulling</em>. Cody had known, with strange certainty, that it was pulling him after his General. Cody hadn't fought it, because he'd follow his General anywhere and through anything.</p><p>He met Rex's eyes and saw a similar understanding beginning to dawn in them. Cody looked back to where Boil was still standing, eyes scanning the bridge, the same calculations running through his mind.</p><p>He and his brothers had always been quick on the uptake.</p><p>General Kenobi walked in, his eyes shuttered to try and conceal his emotions, a false and fractured smile on his face.</p><p>He looked so close to shattering.</p><p>Cody had noticed last time, had known <em>immediately</em> upon seeing his General that something was wrong. Had been quietly concerned about what could have happened that seemed to have broken his General over the span of a few hours since they'd last seen each other.</p><p>He'd never have guessed the truth.</p><p>And who would?</p><p>It was a plot straight out of a horror holo. Not something that could ever actually <em>happen</em>.</p><p>He wondered if the past iterations of himself had noticed, worrying silently over and over as his General broke down right beside him.</p><p>General Kenobi eyed them all as he joined them, eyes terrifyingly empty.</p><p>Cody felt his heart clench. What did his General see when he looked at Cody? Did he see those lives where Cody kill—. He tried to shut the thought off, another bout of nausea hitting him.</p><p>Still, it remained crystalized in his mind.</p><p>He'd killed his General.</p><p>And not even just once, but again and again.</p><p>He didn't want to believe it. Didn't want to believe that anything could ever make him turn his blaster on his General. Didn't want to believe that anything could make him treat his General as a traitor.</p><p>Worse, that his General would just... <em>let</em> him. Cody shuddered and found himself infinitely grateful that those were lives that Cody couldn't remember.</p><p>The war had left him with enough nightmares without needing to add that to the list. This Sith-damned loop had already given him another and it had only just begun. Some part of Cody was still trying to comprehend what he had seen his General do. The fear churned in his gut, real and visceral. General Kenobi had taken Cody's blaster and—no. Cody wasn't thinking about that. Cody refused to think about how his General had tried to kill himself right in front of Cody.</p><p>He had lost so many brothers, so many brothers that were marching far away. He didn't want his General to march away from him where Cody couldn't follow.</p><p>Cody took a deep, fortifying breath.</p><p>On the bridge, Obi-Wan clasped his hands behind his back. "Any brilliant plans to save the Chancellor?" he asked, as he moved forward to look at the information on the holo table.</p><p>Cody paid more attention to his General than the tactical formations on display, trying to watch for some sort of signal. His General's eyes scanned over the information, quick and easy. It certainly didn't look like his General's first time seeing it; his eyes were skimming over the table, but it was an empty glance.</p><p>He looked away from his General to glance at Rex who looked a little pale as he watched the proceedings. As though he felt Cody's gaze, Rex turned in his direction and Cody saw that same desperate confusion in his brother's eyes.</p><p>Beside them General Kenobi was offering up a ridiculous, insane plan that Cody absolutely hated. Just like he'd hated it last time.</p><p>His General looked up at him expectantly, a faint smile on his face, and Cody was grateful for long practice with crazy, foolish plans allowing him to answer with only the slightest stumble.</p><p>His General's eyes flicked down for a moment, landing on the blaster at Cody's hip, and there was no way Cody could ever imagine that sort of despair, longing, exhaustion, regret on his General's face. A moment later his General looked back up, freezing for less than a split second as he met Cody's eyes. His General looked away and refocused again on discussing the plan for saving the Chancellor.</p><p>Cody wanted the Chancellor dead. More than he thought he'd wanted almost anyone dead. Dooku and Grievous, and Ventress had all been on the list, though Ventress was working her way off. But the Chancellor was suddenly lightyears ahead of them all.</p><p>He was the reason that all of Cody's brothers were dead. The reason for the war.</p><p>The reason he'd just seen his General put a blaster to his own head in desperation.</p><p>"Are you quite alright, Cody?"</p><p>Cody felt his brain stutter as he looked up at his General who was watching him with a concerned look, but there was also confusion there, as though Cody had done something his General hadn't expected.</p><p>But then, he must have.</p><p>Because his General had done this who knew how many times, and Cody had never had a reason to experience the rage he'd just felt and was probably broadcasting into the Force. He forced himself to go blank, picturing a blaster shield surrounding his thoughts and emotions.</p><p>His General couldn't know.</p><p>The thought hit him hard, a mix of his own conclusions and that something <em>other</em> from before. "I don't like the plan,” Cody said first, buying himself time, but he couldn't have liked the plan every other time, what was different now? He remembered the look his General had given Cody's blaster. It went against Cody's instincts to draw such public attention to his General's weakness. Especially in something like this. But he needed a reason. He needed to keep Obi-Wan from being suspicious of the accidental change Cody had caused. "And you look about one bad decision away from throwing your ship in front of avoidable cannon fire."</p><p>His General flinched back as though he'd been struck, eyes widening. Beside him, Rex let out a hissing breath.</p><p>General Skywalker froze, mouth dropping open as he stared at Cody in horror.</p><p>General Kenobi collected himself quickly, managing a sad little laugh. "This is hardly the first time you've seen me come up with such a terrible plan, Cody."</p><p>Cody let his face adopt a disbelieving look. "Sir, this is more than—"</p><p>Obi-Wan shook his head. "Nothing more than exhaustion and desperate plans, Cody."</p><p>Cody hated the lie, because it was so much more than that, and his General was—No. His General needed to lie to him, and Cody was going to lie right back.</p><p>He forced his shoulders to relax a little, kept the uncertainty on his face. "Of course, General." He made sure his General saw him glance from him back to the blaster his General had stared at earlier, made sure his General saw him set it aside for later thought.</p><p>His General relaxed a little and everyone turned back to the plans.</p><p>Rex met his eyes and Cody knew they had to finish with <em>these</em> plans so that he and Rex could talk; they needed to come up with some of their own.</p><p>Cody went through the plan General Kenobi and General Skywalker created meticulously, step by step.</p><p>He wondered how much it had changed from the first time, as General Kenobi discarded ideas that Cody was almost positive he would have accepted.</p><p>Oddball was going to be utterly infuriated by General Kenobi's blank-faced refusal to let him and his squad stay on General Kenobi's tail.</p><p>Cody wondered how many times General Kenobi had listened to Oddball die, in the many times they'd gone through this little rescue operation.</p><p>He couldn't help but love his General a little more. He had lived this nightmare over and over, and expected to do it over and over again. As far as General Kenobi was concerned, their deaths weren't going to last anyways, and he was still trying to save them.</p><p>"Well." General Kenobi ended the meeting. "We have a few hours left in hyperspace. If my presence is required, please comm me."</p><p>Cody watched him leave, Skywalker chasing after him, voice concerned and worried as he fretted over the Chancellor's odds.</p><p>They had barely made it off the bridge before Boil had a brother replace him at his post and crossed over to where Cody and Rex were standing at the holo table.</p><p>Boil opened his mouth, and Cody shook his head once, sharply. Boil closed his mouth. "Not here.” Cody said quietly. "Let's move this to my cabin."</p><p>Rex and Boil followed him off the bridge, steps perfectly in sync with one another. None of them spoke as they moved through the ship and to Cody's cabin.</p><p>Cody let the door slide shut behind him, breathing deeply as he turned to face his two brothers.</p><p>No one spoke for a long moment, Boil had taken a seat on Cody's bed, head bowed into his hands. Rex was leaning against the small desk that took up most of the space in the room, looking blankly at the data pads that seemed to cover every inch.</p><p>Cody leaned back against the door, suddenly heavy under the weight of the situation.</p><p>"He was telling the truth,” Boil finally said, looking up with wide eyes. "I didn't doubt him, but Hells."</p><p>"That doesn't explain why we're here." Rex was still staring at the data pads, as though he thought they might hold the answers they all desperately needed. "I can't see the Chancellor caring about three random clones."</p><p>"You think it was the Chancellor?" Cody asked, the title was bitter on his tongue and Cody had to fight not to spit it. Rex finally looked up, and Cody could see the same derision in his eyes.</p><p>"Didn't feel like it." Boil said quietly. "It was too warm, too kind for that." Boil frowned. "I'd say it was the General, but that doesn't feel quite right."</p><p>"Skywalker?" Cody suggested, but Rex shook his head immediately.</p><p>"No, that didn't feel like Skywalker, too gentle for that."</p><p>"So who?" Boil asked.</p><p>Cody frowned, fingers tapping against his arm uneasily. "Whoever it is, do you think they'll do it again?" He asked. "Or is this a one chance only sort of thing?"</p><p>"One chance sort of thing for what?" Rex asked, voice a little hesitant.</p><p>Cody just raised an eyebrow and Boil swore. "You're a mad bastard."</p><p>"You want to just leave the General stuck until Palpatine makes him lose his mind?” Cody challenged, the sight of his General raising Cody's own blaster to his head once again flickering into Cody's mind. Kriff, he wanted to scrub the image out of his brain, but rather suspected it would haunt him for as long as Cody lived.</p><p>Rex and Boil both flinched, and Rex ran a hand through his hair. "That's not going to be easy. Do we even know where to start?"</p><p>"Figure out how to break the loop. The General seemed fairly certain that there were answers in the archives,” Boil said. "We're going to need a Jedi for that."</p><p>"Got to figure out that signal the General mentioned to deactivate the chips,” Rex added. He swore quietly. "Little gods, Fives." Rex's voice broke on the last word. "I failed Fives."</p><p>Cody swallowed back his own grief. He hadn't been involved during the chaos of what had happened to Fives, but he had been there when Rex had come to him, desperate and confused.</p><p>He should have done more to help his brother. Shouldn't have dismissed things the way he had... But with all that Rex had been saying. Cody... Cody hadn't wanted to believe it.</p><p>"Have to protect the Jedi,” Boil added, and there was something desolate in his voice.</p><p>Rex flinched again, and Cody remembered that the General had said that the 501st was almost always the battalion that ended up marching on the Temple in time loops where General Kenobi wasn't able to stop it.</p><p>"Need to kill the Sith-scum,” Rex added, voice a dark, low growl.</p><p>"Not until we get the loop ended,” Cody cautioned.</p><p>"So four main objectives, for just the three of us,” Boil said, voice wry. "We've had worse."</p><p>Cody felt the laugh come out a little strangled.</p><p>Boil's lip ticked up a little in amusement, his mustache twitching.</p><p>"We have to make sure the General doesn't realize we know,” Cody said, quietly.</p><p>"If the General knows, then the Chancellor knows,” Rex agreed.</p><p>"And then things get reset and we don't know if we'll be brought back a second time,” Boil finished.</p><p>"We have to assume we won't be,” Cody said instantly. "We have to assume that this is our one and only chance. That if we fail now, then that's it."</p><p>Boil leaned forward, elbows on his knees. Rex settled backwards against the desk, eyebrows furrowed. "Well, no pressure." Rex smiled, a slow, sharp thing.</p><p>Cody took in a deep breath. "Better start planning." He looked at his chrono. "We don't have much time before we exit hyperspace above Coruscant."</p><p>Both of his brothers nodded. Cody felt some of the pressure ease. If they had to save the Galaxy, there were few people he could think of that he would trust more to be at his side.</p><p>—</p><p>Rex had no clue how Cody was doing it. Standing just beside General Kenobi as he reported on Grievous’ death and Dooku’s escape, the Chancellor only a few feet away. If Rex had to stand that close to that absolute hell-bound Sith bastard he'd be reaching for his blaster.</p><p>Rex closed his eyes, forcing the anger down, shoring up his mental shields to make sure that none of the Force sensitives around him could catch even the slightest hint of his feelings.</p><p>No, he reminded himself. They couldn't kill the bastard. Not until they found a way to save the General.</p><p>They couldn't do anything to draw attention to themselves.</p><p>While he highly doubted that Palpatine cared enough about three random clones to notice if their patterns diverged from the normal… General Kenobi did care. General Kenobi would notice.</p><p>And General Kenobi wasn't allowed to notice. He absolutely could not, under any circumstance, find out.</p><p>The pressure was heavy in his chest. He didn't know what he'd done the first time. General Skywalker was already fretting about having left Ahsoka back on Mandalore alone—though she was hardly alone, she had several squads from the 501<sup>st</sup> with her—but Anakin wanted <em>Rex</em> to go back to Mandalore with a squad.</p><p>Rex couldn't think of a reason why he wouldn't have done that in every other loop. He was certainly already worrying about Ahsoka.</p><p>He wanted to protect Ahsoka. Needed to.</p><p>What if he didn't go to Mandalore and something happened to her? Their Commander? Their Jedi?</p><p>But Cody and Boil needed him, too.</p><p>Boil, they'd already decided, would be going straight to Kamino. General Kenobi had spoken about a signal that could be sent out that would temporarily short out the chips.</p><p>They <em>needed</em> someone there. Needed someone to be able to make sure that they couldn't have their minds hi-jacked and compromised.</p><p>Rex shuddered, grateful he had no memories of a life where that had happened to him. If they did this right, then it wouldn't happen at all.</p><p>But that left Cody and Rex to handle things on Coruscant.</p><p>Rex couldn't leave Cody alone to try and take on a Sith Lord by himself, while also keeping a close eye on the General to make sure he didn't—</p><p>Rex swallowed hard, remembering. They'd gotten lucky, the General had somehow forgotten that he was there, had accounted for General Skywalker and Cody but had forgotten that Rex was at his side, if Rex hadn't been there... If Rex had been even the slightest bit distracted, if he hadn't realized what General Kenobi had been about to do...</p><p>Horror was too small a word to describe how Rex had felt then. What he still felt now even thinking about it.</p><p>But it was fine. General Kenobi was alive, and so long as he was alive they could make this work.</p><p>But what about Ahsoka?</p><p>He sighed, scrubbing at his hair. He'd have to send someone else. Send the very best of the 501<sup>st</sup>.</p><p>Except... Except what if they failed and the Chancellor got the order out? Did he want Ahsoka surrounded by the best then? Ahsoka was talented and capable, and Obi-Wan had mentioned her a few times. Sometimes she lived when the order went out, sometimes she didn't, sometimes Obi-Wan did something rash and foolhardy and didn't live long enough to find out.</p><p>Rex hated this.</p><p>Hated all of it.</p><p>Still. He forced his thoughts into order. He trusted Boil. He trusted Cody. They would <em>not </em>fail. And that meant that he wanted Ahsoka surrounded by the best so that she would survive long enough to enjoy the peace that would accompany the end of this war.</p><p>Because they would end this war.</p><p>They had to.</p><p>Rex turned away from General Kenobi and Cody, eyes scanning to find General Skywalker.</p><p>For now, he was going to be sticking with his own General. Making sure the man didn't do anything stupid.</p><p>—</p><p>Cody knew he was probably pushing it when he forced Obi-Wan into Coarse’s not-so-tender care. But the General had been hurt taking out Grievous, and Cody trusted Coarse and the rest of his brothers to keep a close eye on their General, even if they didn't know the entirety of what was wrong.</p><p>He ordered Coarse to contact him before he let General Kenobi out of the med bay. The General wasn't going to go un-accompanied for even a moment if Cody had his way.</p><p>It was dangerous, especially since it probably hadn't happened in any other iteration. But Cody couldn't risk it. Even now, Cody felt a muted panic racing through him at the thought of abandoning his General. Try as he might, his mind just kept revolving over the fact that his General <em>hadn’t promised</em>. Hadn’t promised to keep holding on. Cody had to protect his General, even if that meant protecting him from himself.</p><p>So, even if it was different from past iterations, even if it was dangerous, it had to be done.</p><p>Rex was keeping a close eye on General Skywalker for the time being, and would run interference as well as he could to keep him from spending any time with the Chancellor.</p><p>Boil was already on his way back to Kamino in the fastest ship Cody had been able to requisition on short notice.</p><p>And that meant that Cody had to pull in a little help. Because as much as Cody knew they had to keep the truth of what they were doing hidden, they couldn't actually accomplish everything that needed doing with just the three of them.</p><p>No. There was too much for that.</p><p>Which was why Cody was here in front of General Windu's door.</p><p>Ponds had given him a strange look when Cody had asked for the information, and Cody couldn't blame him. Cody rarely had any reason to reach out to General Windu directly. Either General Kenobi communicated with General Windu, or Cody communicated with Ponds. But Ponds had taken one look at Cody's face—and Cody could only imagine what Ponds saw, but he imagined it wasn't pleasant—and had given him the information he needed.</p><p>The door opened and General Windu stood there. He looked like he was exhausted, but trying desperately to hide it. It was a look that Cody was used to, he'd seen his own General practically perfect the look. Had seen his General use it at the end of too many long campaigns, when Obi-Wan was trying to convince Cody or Coarse that he was perfectly fine to keep going. Not that either Cody or the 212<sup>th</sup>’s medic had ever believed it for a moment.</p><p>"Commander Cody." General Windu gave him a long scrutinizing look. "Can I help you with anything?"</p><p>Cody nodded. "Yes, sir, may I come in? This isn't something that should be overheard."</p><p>General Windu frowned, but stepped to the side, gesturing for Cody to enter. "Of course. Is everything all right with Obi-Wan? I saw him not so long ago, I hope he's getting a healer to look at his injuries."</p><p>Cody followed General Windu as he moved towards a small sitting area just inside the small apartment.</p><p>Cody took a deep breath, aware that he had to be careful how he approached this situation to ensure he didn't end up sounding crazy. "I've left him with Coarse. He'll take good care of General Kenobi. Physically he should be fine."</p><p>"Physically,” General Windu repeated.</p><p>"Yes, sir."</p><p>"And otherwise?"</p><p>"That's what I wanted to talk to you about,” Cody said, mentally he braced himself. "General Kenobi's in danger, sir. We all are."</p><p>General Windu raised an eyebrow in surprise. "Oh?"</p><p>"Some of my brothers and I believe we've found the Sith Lord, sir."</p><p>General Windu froze for just a moment, eyes narrowing as he stared at Cody. "The Sith Lord."</p><p>Cody nodded.</p><p>"I see. And you came to me rather than to Obi-Wan?"</p><p>Cody nodded. "It's a complicated situation. But we believe that the Sith Lord is watching the General closely. Too closely for us to alert him without our knowledge of his identity being compromised.”</p><p>General Windu crossed his arms, and Cody could tell he was being carefully assessed. "There's a great deal you aren't telling me, Commander."</p><p>Cody hesitated, but then screwed his courage up and hoped that Obi-Wan and Ponds were both right about what sort of man General Windu was. "It's something of a complicated situation, General. And it might be difficult to believe. But I'm not exaggerating when I say that the fate of the galaxy might depend on the choices we make in the next few days."</p><p>General Windu turned away from him to stare out the window. "The war is almost over."</p><p>Cody remembered saying the same thing to General Kenobi and watching his General break apart at how far from the truth that was. "That depends, sir. On who you ask."</p><p>"And who should I ask?"</p><p>"According to General Kenobi—" Cody took a deep breath, sending a plea to that mystical Force his General trusted that this worked. "This war is just a small part of a far bigger game. It might not ever be over, though both the Jedi and the clones might not be there to see it."</p><p>"Explain."</p><p>"The Sith Lord is Chancellor Palpatine, sir. And we can't kill him, not yet. He's trapped himself and my General in some sort of time loop."</p><p>—</p><p>"I've got General Windu on board. He's sending a message to General Ti to tell her to listen that Boil will be arriving with sensitive information and that when he gets there she's to help him."</p><p>Rex nodded, staring from his vantage point as his General and the Senator kissed on the balcony of her apartment, heedless of anyone who might catch sight of them. "Probably best to keep it vague for now. Don't want to risk anyone hearing something they shouldn't if they're listening in."</p><p>"How's General Skywalker?"</p><p>Rex shrugged. "Fine for now. I think the Senator told him she was pregnant. He seems to be in a bit of shock at the moment." He paused. "Should we get her to a medic?"</p><p>Cody seemed to be considering it. "Do you think you can manage to make that happen without drawing attention to it?"</p><p>Rex grimaced. It would be easier if General Skywalker wasn't so secretive, but approaching the General about his knowledge of not only the Senator, but also her pregnancy, would probably not go down well with the General. "I don't know."</p><p>"If we can keep everything from going to hell then she should be fine." Cody sighed. "At least if the General's past experience is any indicator. From what he said, things only really went wrong for the Senator when General Skywalker went dark side."</p><p>Rex felt a sharp twist of emotion—betrayal, he thought, but he didn't want to have to think about it—at the thought of his General doing some of the things General Kenobi had described. "He won't go dark side."</p><p>Cody was quiet for a long moment, and Rex could almost feel jealous of Cody. His General wasn't the one who would betray everything they'd fought for and help destroy the galaxy. But then, Cody's General was the one who'd gotten trapped in a time loop that wouldn't end until he went mad and betrayed everything he’d ever stood for in the end, anyway.</p><p>"We'll keep him out of it if we can,” Cody said quietly. "Let him be happy with the Senator."</p><p>Rex wasn't sure if they could manage that. Wasn't sure if he <em>wanted</em> that. But if the Chancellor was watching General Kenobi, then he might be watching General Skywalker as well. "Don't know if the Chancellor will let us keep him out of it."</p><p>"We have to try." Cody sighed again, some of his weariness creeping into his voice. "General Windu and I are going to start going through the archives, try to find something that will tell us how to free General Kenobi."</p><p>"All right."</p><p>“Coarse says he's running out of reasons to keep General Kenobi in the med bay. Want to take a break from babysitting your General to go babysit mine?"</p><p>Rex huffed a laugh, both of their Generals would be less than pleased to know that Cody said they needed a babysitter. "I can do that."</p><p>Cody nodded at him, and even through the holo his vod looked grimly determined. "Thank you." And then he was signing off the comm.</p><p>Rex took another look at General Skywalker and the Senator; they were nuzzling now, General Skywalker's hand on the Senator's stomach.</p><p><em>Was it worth it?</em> Rex wondered. <em>Was it worth destroying a galaxy for?</em></p><p>—</p><p>Cody stared at the shelves stuffed full of glowing databases disappearing off into the distance, racks towering far above his head, already daunted by the task ahead.</p><p>He remembered his own General showing him the archives, telling him that whenever they were on Coruscant that Cody could use Obi-Wan's codes to look at anything he'd liked. Cody had been in awe then. So much information, and all at his fingertips. Now that awe felt a lot closer to despair.</p><p>General Windu gave him a brittle smile, as though he knew exactly what Cody was thinking. "The information about Sith artifacts and Sith magic is in a restricted section, and while it's still extensive it's not quite as overwhelming as all of this."</p><p>Cody nodded, following General Windu as he headed to the back of the archives, sending a small nod to the other Jedi spending time perusing the data terminals and the shelves full of datapads, and further back, shelves full of actual books.</p><p>Cody watched as General Windu put his codes into one of the doors, leading them into another room and down a hallway until they reached a plain stretch of wall.</p><p>It might have been Cody's imagination, but it seemed colder here. This plain bit of hallway somehow carried an air of menace that seemed out of place in the middle of the Jedi Temple.</p><p>"Let's hope Obi-Wan's right,” General Windu said, and with a wave of his hand a piece of the wall retracted, revealing a small room. "If it's not in here, I don't know where else we could look."</p><p>Cody followed the general into the room, staring around at the books, data pads, and boxes lining the shelves.</p><p>"It's unlikely we'll be able to open any of the holocrons. They're particular about who they share their knowledge with, and I doubt either of us will fit their definition of worthy." General Windu snorted. "You need to be at least half insane to really get their attention. But the books and datapads are fair game. If you start feeling murderous, let me know and we'll take a break."</p><p>"Murderous?" Cody glanced at the General from the corner of his eye, but the man didn't seem to be joking.</p><p>"The Sith like to leave traps. I know that the Jedi of the past tried to remove what traps they found when they brought the information here, but you never know what might have been missed."</p><p>That, Cody thought grimly, was just what they needed. Magic books that made a person murderous.</p><p>"We'll be fine,” General Windu added. "They can't use us to hurt others if we end up killing each other."</p><p>The reassurance was far from reassuring. "Of course."</p><p>Cody moved to the first datapad on the shelf, and silently prayed that they found what they needed soon.</p><p>—</p><p>"Captain Rex."</p><p>"General."</p><p>General Kenobi stopped in the empty hallway and gave him a long, assessing look. "Not that I haven't appreciated your company this morning. But is there anything I can do for you, Captain?"</p><p>Rex was many things. He wasn't a very good liar though. "No, sir."</p><p>Obi-Wan raised an eyebrow and Rex could see that the General was amused—even if the exhaustion seemed to be in danger of overwhelming that. "Indeed. Might I ask you why you're on, ah, what's the term the Commander likes to use, oh yes, babysitting duty, then?"</p><p>Rex pursed his lips; they'd hoped it would take longer for the General to call them out on it. Would it be better to leave the General alone, lower his suspicions? Or should he try to brazen it out? "Cody is worried about you, sir."</p><p>General Kenobi looked away, a complicated emotion that Rex couldn't name crossing his face. "Cody's worried about me." General Kenobi sighed, running a hand through his hair. "Did he say why?"</p><p>Rex debated with himself for a long moment, knowing better than to lie, but obviously not able to tell the truth. "Sir, he just... he just seemed to think that you wouldn't want to be alone."</p><p>This time the emotion that crossed the General's face was easy to name, but that didn’t make the deep, almost unfathomable, grief that seemed to make its home in the General any easier to see. "You needn't worry about me, Captain." General Kenobi's words were so quiet Rex almost couldn't hear them.</p><p>"With all respect, sir." Rex kept his own voice quiet to match. "It's been a long few years, I worry about everyone. Please, General. Let me and Cody fret over you for a few days. This war is almost over—" General Kenobi flinched, and Rex couldn't imagine how much it must hurt to hear that, over and over, when he knew the truth. "—we just want to make sure we all make it through to the other side."</p><p>General Kenobi slumped a little, and he looked so lost that Rex had to restrain himself from moving forward and gathering the General into Rex's arms. "Well, I suppose I can hardly complain about two of my favorite people wanting to spend time with me." The smile the General gave Rex was trying so hard to be genuine, that Rex could almost pretend it was.</p><p>"Thank you, General."</p><p>—</p><p>Four days. Four days of nothing, with the whole galaxy on edge.</p><p>Boil was still on his way to Kamino, and Cody and Rex were hesitant to move forward until he made it there. Meanwhile, Cody and Rex had spent nearly every day, trading places, one with General Kenobi with quick check-ins with General Skywalker, the other with General Windu in the archives looking for an answer.</p><p>General Windu sighed, staring at his comm. "Skywalker just got back from a meeting with the Chancellor."</p><p>Cody scowled. He and Rex had wanted to find a way to divert the meeting, but the Chancellor and the Council had both been insistent, and they were trying to be subtle. "What did he have to say?"</p><p>"The Chancellor wants to put Skywalker as his representative on the Council." The look General Windu made as he said the words—especially given his normally stoic face—said everything the General thought about that.</p><p>Cody bit the inside of his cheeks. He'd told General Windu as little as possible. He'd told him of the loop, of the chips, of the Jedi's destruction.</p><p>There were so many ways for it to happen, and while from General Kenobi's account, Skywalker's Fall happened more often than not. Even knowing that, Rex had still pleaded that they keep that quiet, to try and protect his General. And so, despite his own doubts, Cody hadn't told General Windu about the possible danger that General Skywalker posed.</p><p>"I didn't realize that the Chancellor could do that."</p><p>General Windu snorted. "Apparently there's very little he can't do. Why would a Sith Lord want Skywalker..." General Windu turned, giving Cody a sharp look. "Do you know?"</p><p>Cody straightened, searching for a truth that wasn't ‘if General Skywalker's a councilor he'll have all the codes he'd need to get into the Council Chambers where the Masters would send the younglings in the case of an attack'. Cody felt sick even thinking about it. "From General Kenobi's accounts, he seemed to use General Skywalker as a way to reveal himself often."</p><p>General Windu frowned, but said nothing more for a long moment. "According to Skywalker's report, the Chancellor's spies have also found Dooku. You were right, Utapau. Apparently the Chancellor believes that we should send Skywalker." General Windu sighed, rubbing at his temple. "I need to actually go to a council meeting. No more getting Ki Adi to send me the highlights."</p><p>Silently, Cody wondered how Mace had pulled off getting out of Council meetings. If he'd known that was possible he would have tried to convince General Kenobi to do that sometimes in order to get more sleep.</p><p>General Windu sent him an amused look. "I told Yoda that I'd found a trace of the Sith and that I worried that if I left my hunt then I'd lose the trail."</p><p>Ah, so not something Cody could have gotten General Kenobi to use.</p><p>"It might not be a bad idea,” Cody started slowly. "To let the Chancellor have this. To send General Skywalker after Dooku."</p><p>It would get General Skywalker out of the way, ensure that he couldn't lead the march on the temple if somehow they failed to get the chips temporarily deactivated.</p><p>Plus, from what General Kenobi had said, Skywalker <em>could</em> win in a fight against Dooku. It would have been nice, Cody thought a little dourly, if he'd managed to do that earlier on in the war. Though the same could be said about Grievous.</p><p>Sometimes it was just luck.</p><p>General Windu was giving him another scrutinizing look. "You <em>want</em> to give the Chancellor what he wants."</p><p>"General Skywalker is capable, General Windu. And, if I might be blunt, sir." General Windu waved his hand with permission. "If you were unaware of Chancellor Palpatine's identity as the Sith Lord, would you be any more willing to send General Skywalker on the Chancellor's request?"</p><p>General Windu pursed his lips. "No." General Windu looked like he was considering adding a few invectives to his answer, and Cody could see the worst of the situation all hitting him. "Force help us. He's been playing us like puppets."</p><p>Cody wasn't sure what to say. There was no comfort to give because General Windu was right; Palpatine <em>had </em>played them all like puppets. They had just finally learned that there were strings they could cut to free themselves.</p><p>"I'm sorry, sir."</p><p>General Windu sighed. "No need, Commander. I need to speak with the Council."</p><p>Cody bit the inside of his cheek again, if this were his own General he would speak freely. But it wasn't his General. Cody couldn't talk to his General about this. "Sir?"</p><p>"Not about the Loop." General Windu shook his head. "No. But about sending Skywalker after Dooku." General Windu scowled, clearly not pleased.</p><p>"Perhaps,” Cody continued carefully, “it wouldn't be completely without merit to send someone with him?"</p><p>General Windu was giving him <em>that </em>look again. As though he knew that Cody had learned more about the many pasts that neither of them had lived than he was saying.</p><p>General Windu was right, but Cody didn't say as much.</p><p>Cody just hoped he wasn't wrong to try and save Skywalker by keeping him as much out of it as he could.</p><p>"I've already dispatched one of our Shadows to track where you said Dooku would be. I'll tell him to hold off, and wait for General Skywalker."</p><p>"You—"</p><p>"Knight Vos is, surprisingly enough, very good with discretion. And he's <em>very </em>familiar with Dooku's Force signature."</p><p>"Wouldn't that mean that Dooku is equally familiar with his?" Cody asked.</p><p>The smile that slipped across General Windu's face was strangely sad. "Not nearly as familiar with it as he'd like to think."</p><p>There was a story behind that, one Cody didn't know. Still, he didn't know how he felt about a Jedi he knew so little about being involved.</p><p>"I trust Vos to be careful and discrete."</p><p>Cody nodded. "Of course sir."</p><p>General Windu gave him a strange look. "If it makes you feel any better, Commander, Obi-Wan would trust Quinlan Vos with not just his own life, but with yours.”</p><p>It did make him feel better. A little.</p><p>—</p><p>Rex frowned as he watched Appo oversee the embarkation of the 501<sup>st</sup> aboard the Resolute.</p><p>It felt odd to be the one staying behind, and General Skywalker was clearly not happy about it. He'd heard several rather rude invectives aimed at General Windu, who had—nominally—made the call that Rex would stay behind on Coruscant.</p><p>But in the end General Skywalker had accepted the order, even if he clearly wasn't pleased with it.</p><p>A few feet away General Kenobi and General Skywalker were making their farewells. "Sure you don't want to come with?" General Skywalker was asking, and there was a teasing note to his voice. "I'd hate to have to win this war without you around."</p><p>General Kenobi's smile was faint. "But who will prepare the celebrations if I don't stay behind?"</p><p>General Skywalker laughed. "I want at least a dozen cakes."</p><p>"I'll see what I can do." General Kenobi agreed.</p><p>General Skywalker turned to head toward the ship. "May the Force be with you, Master."</p><p>"And with you, Anakin."</p><p>General Skywalker crossed quickly to the loaded ship, not looking back. Appo sent Rex a salute, before following him.</p><p>General Kenobi seemed to slump a little. "Are you all right, General?" Rex asked carefully.</p><p>Immediately, the General straightened. "Of course." General Kenobi nodded, turning to go. Rex made to follow when General Kenobi paused. "Have things seemed... strange to you, Captain?"</p><p>"Strange how, sir?"</p><p>General Kenobi still had that confused furrow. "I just feel as though the past few days have taken some odd turns. And I can't quite figure out why."</p><p>Rex had to shove down the anxiety to make sure that the General wouldn't feel it. General Kenobi couldn't notice; they were <em>so</em> close. "Not that I've noticed, sir."</p><p>General Kenobi's gaze flickered to take in the Senate building and the confused wrinkle in his brow turned into an expression far more desolate. "I suppose it's just one of those things."</p><p>Rex let out a subtle sigh. "I suppose." While he hated the thought of Obi-Wan thinking this was just another of the Chancellor's mind games, it was better than him knowing the truth. "Would you care to join me for dinner?" Rex asked, hoping it would distract Obi-Wan from his more depressing thoughts.</p><p>The General raised an eyebrow at him. "Did Cody put you on babysitting duty again?"</p><p>Yes. "No sir, I just thought it would be nice to have someone to eat dinner with."</p><p>He was sure that the General saw through him, but he still smiled. "Dinner would be nice. I happen to know a good diner down in CoCo town."</p><p>—</p><p>Cody frowned as he tried to make it through the text again. "I think I found it." It was called the Amzi Neda. The words seemed to blur on the page, and not from exhaustion; it was as though the book was trying to keep the secret that would help him save his General away from Cody's prying eyes.</p><p>General Windu crossed over to him, tilting the book so that he could see what Cody was looking at. It was a treatise of sorts, written by a Darth Xela. They'd been a right bastard, from what Cody could tell. Though the majority of Sith he'd read about in the past six days could be characterized that way.</p><p>This particular Sith bastard, though, had in a quest to become immortal—and a lot of the Sith had seemed to want to become immortal, Cody was starting to think it was a prerequisite to being a Sith—learned how to bend time around her with the Force. It hadn't given her immortality, or at least not any sort of immortality that anyone sane would want, but the loops, Darth Xela determined, had their own uses.</p><p>Part of Cody wondered if perhaps Palpatine hadn't been using this technique before he'd started torturing the General, or if he'd honestly been that lucky—that talented—at creating the perfect storm that would enable his Empire.</p><p>Not as important, Cody reminded his somewhat scattered thoughts. The General was what was important. Saving the General.</p><p>And getting rid of Palpatine while they were at it.</p><p>"I think you're right,” General Windu said, and his voice held little of the joy that Cody would have expected. "Force be with us."</p><p>Cody concentrated on the text again, searching for what General Windu had already found.</p><p>It didn't take long.</p><p>Fett blast this, Cody thought, feeling the despair start to swell like the most destructive of Kaminoan storms.</p><p>Cody wanted to <em>save</em> his General. Not... Not...</p><p>"We need to bring a few more people in on this,” General Windu said, and for the first time since Cody had come to him, General Windu was taking control. Clearly aware that despite the fact that they finally had the answer in front of them, Cody had never felt quite so lost. General Windu carefully took the book from Cody. "We will end this, Commander."</p><p>Cody nodded, numb.</p><p>It would be what his General would want, to end the loop, to save the Republic, the Jedi, his brothers.</p><p>It gave them better odds, maybe, than Cody had any right to hope for.</p><p>He had just thought he'd be able to save his General, too.</p><p>—</p><p>Over the long years that they'd been at war, Rex had come to understand that more than the Seps, more than any Sith Lord, <em>life</em> was what was cruel.</p><p>As he listened to the planning going on around him, he was starting to think that was still the truest bit of knowledge he'd ever gained.</p><p>"I don't think we're going to have to create this signal from scratch,” Boil was saying, and even in the blue tones of the holo he looked relieved. "The Kaminoans didn't want to risk us being used against them, so they created a signal that could short out the chips for a while."</p><p>"How long?" General Windu asked, in control. "And how far's the reach?"</p><p>It was General Ti who answered. "There's some good news, and some bad news."</p><p>"Good news, we'd like to hear,” General Yoda said, and Rex had to hide his twitch. General Windu had finally made the executive decision to bring in a few other Jedi.</p><p>They had to, if they were going to implement this plan.</p><p>"The good news," General Ti started, "is that the signal was created in tandem with the chips, so it has a direct connection. All of the chips will be temporarily deactivated at once.”</p><p>"That is good news,” General Windu agreed. "So what's the bad news."</p><p>"The bad news," and this time Boil was the one to answer, "is two-fold. The deactivation only lasts for two hours, and while any orders given to the chip at that time won't go through, any orders given after will still take effect. And from what we can tell, it would be dangerous to use the deactivation signal too often or it could end up frying the chips." He grimaced a little. "And all living tissue surrounding the chip."</p><p>Rex grimaced. That was bad. Frying the brains of all his brothers wasn't exactly what they’d signed up for. "But the first deactivation..."</p><p>"Should be safe."</p><p>"So, we have a single, two hour window in which we can act." General Windu rubbed at his face. "This just keeps getting better."</p><p>"Despair you should not." General Yoda's voice was gravelly. "A chance we have. Hope there is."</p><p><em>Not much of it</em>, Rex thought a little grimly.</p><p>"I've been looking through the ritual,” General Windu added. "Trying to figure out how to break it. I think I need to be the one to do it.”</p><p>General Yoda didn't seem happy with that, if the way his ears flattened was any indication. "To fight against the Sith, the strongest duelist you are."</p><p>"I know." General Windu's words came without a hint of pride. "But I've been reading the warnings. This loop can be broken by an outside force, but there's only one shot, and it has to be done quickly and be done right the first time. It may be presumptuous to say as much, but I have talents that make me uniquely qualified to do that."</p><p>Rex wasn't sure what that meant, but it seemed that General Yoda did, because while he still seemed displeased, he nodded.</p><p>"Then face the Sith, I will."</p><p>"We have to be careful,” Rex said slowly. "According to the text the loop has to be broken first and then both its tethers killed almost immediately after. Not to mention we need to be able to prove this isn't some sort of coup. That's the excuse the Chancellor and the Senate have used too many times to deflect blame from their atrocities.”</p><p>"Go to our friends within the Senate we will. Share with them the truth of what Palpatine is, the evidence of the chips we have. But wait we cannot, too dangerous it is, that restart the loop, the Sith will."</p><p>Rex couldn't help but worry that that wouldn't be enough. But at the same time, it was all that they had.</p><p>"As for communication, Ponds can be with me,” Windu said. "I trust him enough to bring him in on this." Rex nodded; Ponds was a good brother. "If for some reason I can't communicate when I've broken the tether, he'll send the message to—“ General Windu paused, glancing between him and Cody.</p><p>"I'll go with General Yoda,” Rex offered. "He can send the message to me."</p><p>General Yoda nodded at that.</p><p>That left...</p><p>"And what of young Obi-Wan?"</p><p>The whole room seemed to fall silent. The part that none of them had wanted to deal with.</p><p>"It has to be me." Rex flinched as Cody spoke for the first time in this meeting, his voice hoarse and monotone.</p><p>"Why you?" General Windu asked, but Rex had the feeling he wasn't really surprised.</p><p>Cody looked up, and Rex felt his heart <em>ache</em> for his brother at the empty look on his vod's face. "Because we know he won't fight me."</p><p>Oh, Cody.</p><p>"All three tethers need to be broken; not simultaneously, but as near to that as we can manage. And..." Rex saw Cody swallow, his jaw clenching tightly. "And General Kenobi can't know beforehand or it might ruin everything. And he... he won't fight me."</p><p>—</p><p>"Cody."</p><p>Cody stiffened as Rex came up behind him. "I don't want to talk about it."</p><p>He didn't. He didn't want to talk about this at all. About what was going to happen. About what they were trying to do. About what <em>he</em> was going to do.</p><p>Fett blast this. Cody didn't think he could bear this. Didn't think he'd be able to go on existing in a galaxy where he'd killed his General.</p><p>Those past Cody's might have been the lucky ones; they hadn't had to live with the knowledge of the General dead at their hand.</p><p>"Cody." Rex's voice was somehow both soft and demanding. "I know how you feel right—"</p><p>"No you don't." Cody whirled, glaring at Rex, and suddenly he was angry, so angry. "Your General is out of the way. Your General is going to be <em>fine</em>. Your General would have destroyed the galaxy but we've hopefully saved <em>him</em> from that. But my General, my General's been fighting for his life, and our lives, and his sanity for so long. And what does he get? My blaster to his back. <em>Again</em>."</p><p>It was a dirty shot, going after Rex's General. And one that Cody wouldn't take in normal situations. But it <em>hurt</em>. Rex didn't react though, even if he'd have been in the right to.</p><p>"Cody. You know this is what he'd want." Rex's voice was cracking, and Cody knew, he <em>knew</em>, this was hurting Rex. Rex loved Cody's General as much as Cody did. "He wouldn't want to live in that hell the Chancellor stuck him in. And he wouldn't want us to risk the galaxy to save him."</p><p>And that was one of the worst parts. That his General would die at Cody's hand, and if he knew the truth, he would've been grateful for it.</p><p>"We were supposed to save him." The words came out a broken whisper, a plea to an uncaring void that had never granted them a shred of mercy.</p><p>Cody had felt helpless so many times in his life. For all the strength of his limbs, for all the breath-taking destruction he could direct unleashed form the Republic ordnance he commanded,he was, in the grand scheme of things, powerless. Powerless to save his brothers, powerless to stop this war. Powerless to walk away.</p><p>And here he was, powerless again.</p><p>"I know." Rex's voice was tight. "I know Cody."</p><p>Cody let his brother pull him into his arms, let his brother hold him as Cody shook apart, trying desperately to keep the grief at bay.</p><p>"If you can't do it—" Rex paused. "If you don't think you can do it, we can switch places. You go with General Yoda, and I'll stay with your General."</p><p>Cody closed his eyes. Rex would. Rex would do it, would go in and take this burden from him.</p><p>And it would break his brother the same way it would break him.</p><p>"No." Cody had understood the value of one life in comparison to the cause a long time ago. He knew his General would never forgive him if he found out that Cody had risked the galaxy in exchange for his life.</p><p>And in some selfish way, Cody couldn't bear to <em>not</em> be there with his General at the end of it all.</p><p>"No,” he repeated. "I can do it."</p><p>His General had to die. It was simple as that.</p><p>Even if it killed Cody to do it, he would, and he'd live with that weight.</p><p>His breath caught in his throat, and he mulled over those words, an ember of hope he’d thought extinguished rekindling within him. He pulled back from Rex. "Rex, I have an idea."</p><p>—</p><p>Rex didn't think there could be any sound as beautiful as General Kenobi’s laughter.</p><p>From the look on Cody's face he felt the same, and once again Rex worried about whether his brother would survive the aftermath of their plan.</p><p>His brother <em>loved</em> the General in all of the ways there was to love a person.</p><p>Rex felt his own heart ache. Because while he wouldn't be the one to kill the General... well, he and Cody seemed to share everything. Their faces, their love for each other, their love for the same maddening General.</p><p>Everything was set. Boil and General Ti were ready to deactivate the chips the moment they sent the word. Cody and Rex had talked to Coarse and Healer Bant, General Yoda had set a meeting with Senator Organa and a few of the man's allies, General Windu had spent the morning in meditation and felt as certain as he could that he had the right path, General Skywalker and General Vos had sent in a report that they were closing in on Dooku.</p><p>And General Kenobi was laughing; it was almost enough to hide the pain in his eyes.</p><p>It had been Cody's idea to have Tonedeaf and Lullaby teach a group of younglings a song—and it seemed rather inappropriate for younglings to be singing <em>this</em> song, but the younglings certainly didn't mind—and for them to perform it for the General.</p><p>A gift. Just in case. A goodbye.</p><p>On cue the younglings rushed the General, shrieking happily, and General Kenobi fell under their delighted assault.</p><p>Rex winced, because the General was <em>hurt</em> and he really shouldn't have younglings piling on top of him like that.</p><p>But the General seemed happy.</p><p>Rex only wished it could last.</p><p>—</p><p>"It shouldn't last much longer." General Windu's voice was quiet beside him.</p><p>Cody glanced at him and then back to the three-on-one fight below. His General was amazing, Cody couldn't help but think. Taking on three of the other Masters in the Order and holding his own.</p><p>"Do you think it will work?"</p><p>General Windu sent him a look that probably would have been amused if it wasn't also pained. "You said you needed a reason to take Obi-Wan to the Halls of Healing. Obi-Wan might be one of the best, but he's also tired, worn, and recently injured, and Kit, Agen, and Saesee are <em>quite</em> capable."</p><p>Cody acknowledged that was true, but watched as his General held all three of them off, despite everything that General Windu had just mentioned.</p><p>"I also told Kit that I needed an excuse to get Obi-Wan to the Halls of Healing for his own good." Cody frowned at that, but General Windu continued. "Kit's former padawan was one of Obi-Wan's dear friends, he knows <em>just</em> how hard it is to get Obi-Wan to the Halls of Healing. He'll do his best to give us something to work with."</p><p>Cody didn't like it. Not purposely injuring his General. Not anything else.</p><p>But his General had let himself be pressed into Coarse’s care earlier this week and Cody didn't think he'd be lucky enough to manage it again without an actual injury taking place.</p><p>"It will work,” General Windu told him again. "And I hope the plan that you and Rex put together works as well."</p><p>Cody nodded, not taking his eyes off his General.</p><p>He needed to take every last moment with his General that he could. Needed to burn his General into his memories.</p><p>Just in case.</p><p>—</p><p>They'd gotten the backing of the Delegation of 2000.</p><p>Everything was prepared.</p><p>It had to happen now. Now or never.</p><p>Rex stepped ahead of General Yoda into the Chancellor's office, and the Chancellor looked up, genial smile on his face. Still the kindly patriarch. "Master Yoda! How can I help you?"</p><p>Master Yoda stepped forward, leaning heavily on his gimer stick. "In the name of the Galactic Senate of the Republic, under arrest, you are."</p><p>The Chancellor's eyes flickered with the slightest bit of surprise, and Rex wondered if the old man was so accustomed to knowing what was going to happen, so used to playing against General Kenobi and <em>only</em> General Kenobi, that he had forgotten to watch all of the other players.</p><p>Rex froze, the thoughts dying as the Chancellor stared right at him, and his smile was so chilling that Rex literally <em>felt</em> the temperature in the room fall several degrees, despite the protection of his armor.</p><p>"Captain Rex. Execute Order 66."</p><p>—</p><p>Cody couldn't look at his General; fighting back a deep, heavy nausea. Healer Bant had smiled at Cody and General Kenobi, reassuring them that she would be right back, leaving Cody alone with his General.</p><p>A few feet away the AED sat, easy and available.</p><p>"Commander." His General's voice was quiet, concerned. "Is everything all right?"</p><p>Cody looked up at his General, who was staring at him with such care and concern that Cody thought he might be dying a little. "It will be." It had to be.</p><p>General Kenobi tilted his head, frowning. "Cody." And Fett help him, but he couldn't, he <em>couldn't</em> bear this. "It's just a small injury, Cody. I wouldn't have even come to the Halls of Healing if you hadn't been so insistent."</p><p>Cody nodded. "I know."</p><p>"I've had much worse." It was supposed to be a reassurance, but it didn't feel like that.</p><p>Cody felt the bile rising in his throat. "I know."</p><p>—</p><p>For a moment it was as though the entire world froze, as Rex heard the words that General Kenobi had whispered in a voice so desperate and pained that Rex would never forget them.</p><p>But nothing happened. Rex was still Rex.</p><p>General Yoda's lightsaber hummed into life and Rex had a second to watch the Chancellor's eyes widen in surprise as events continued to slide further and further from the plans he had so painstakingly put in place.</p><p>And then General Yoda threw himself forward, saber flashing.</p><p>Rex crouched low to the ground, alert for any opening that might give him a chance to assist General Yoda in his fight against the Chancellor.</p><p>The Chancellor and the General were a whirl of blades, the Chancellor's eerie laugh echoing through the chamber.</p><p>Rex cursed as above the Chancellor and the General the iris that would allow the Chancellor's senate pod to rise opened and the pod began to rise.</p><p>He threw himself forward, barely catching a handhold as it rose up into the air.</p><p>It didn't last long, as the Chancellor spared a moment to throw a hand out and Rex felt himself flying through the air.</p><p>He crashed into another pod, rolling to catch himself before he could make the fall to the ground.</p><p>Ponds voice was quiet through his HUD. "I think we're getting close."</p><p>Rex dove from his position as a flying senatorial pod was thrown towards him. "How close?"</p><p>Ponds was silent for a moment. "I don't know, but I can <em>feel </em>it. Like Kamino right before the death storms."</p><p>Palpatine <em>cackled</em>, lightning crackling from his fingers and lancing through the air. "You're no match for me, <em>Master</em> Yoda."</p><p>"Wrong, you are."</p><p>Rex hoped General Yoda was right, as he clutched his blaster, wishing he could take a shot without endangering the High General.</p><p>He really, really hoped the General was right.</p><p>—</p><p>It was difficult to walk a path that balanced the edges of light and dark. And yet, that had been the path that Mace had walked nearly all his life.</p><p>It had never seemed as important as it did now.</p><p>Palpatine was a form of darkness that Mace hadn't truly realized could exist within a soul. A darkness so deep and overwhelming that Mace knew it could consume the galaxy whole and still be starving for more.</p><p>And then there was Obi-Wan.</p><p>Mace had watched Obi-Wan grow up, just another youngling amongst many within their Order. Had watched him grow into a padawan, a Knight, and eventually a Master, a stead strength and wisdom about him that Mace had come to value.</p><p>But now Mace felt as though he was seeing Obi-Wan for the first time.</p><p>The darkness bit and lashed at Obi-Wan, and yet somehow, despite how viciously the darkness was trying to rip him apart, Obi-Wan was still a beacon.</p><p>The light <em>loved</em> Obi-Wan Kenobi.</p><p>Mace was starting to understand that it was no easy thing to be so deeply loved by the Force.</p><p>The Force whispered to him, leading Mace through the edges of dark and light as he searched for where Palpatine had tied both himself and Obi-Wan into the very heart of time and the Force itself.</p><p>The dark side was only now noticing Mace's presence and Mace felt it's seductive pull. Power, it promised.</p><p>Power to protect those that needed it.</p><p>Thousands of voices reached out to him.</p><p>
  <em>"Master, Master, please. Save us." There was none of the usual serenity in Depa's voice. Her voice was laced with a deep, bone-shattering fear. "Caleb and I need you. Please, Master."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Master Mace, what are we going to do? They've got us surrounded."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"General." Ponds’ voice was ragged. "We're all going to die. There's nothing more we can do."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"They killed my Master. She told me to run. Then they killed her. Master Mace, they killed her!"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Kill us all, he will." Yoda's voice was wearier than Mace had ever heard it, weighed down by every one of his almost 800 years. "Not even the younglings, will he spare. Do something, we must."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Master Mace, I'm scared."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Do something. Please! You have to do something!"</em>
</p><p>Voice after voice, begging him. There was something painfully real about all of it. As though these were not just figments that the dark side created to tempt him, but moments pulled through time for him to see and experience.</p><p>Each pleading voice felt like a lash across his heart, reminding Mace of his powerlessness to save them.</p><p>How was Obi-Wan still sane? After having gone through this grief over and over and over again with no respite? And despite it all, despite the grief and the pain and the powerlessness that Obi-Wan felt, with the dark side whispering at him, promising him an <em>end </em>to the pain, promising him the power to <em>stop </em>this, despite all of that, Obi-Wan was still clinging to the light; perhaps he clung a little desperately, but, somehow, he was still holding on.</p><p>And now it was Mace's turn, to feel the smallest portion of that desperation, that powerlessness.</p><p>He didn't have to be powerless, the dark side whispered, all he had to do was reach out and the power was his for the taking. All he had to do was take one step into the darkness and seize it. He would still be in control. Just one small step into the darkness to save those he feared to lose, and then he could return to his previous path, if he so desired.</p><p>Mace knew better than to trust those pretty promises.</p><p>In contrast, the light made no promises.</p><p>Not the power to save those that needed it. Not even the power to save himself.</p><p>Comfort in pain. Hope in dark times. Peace in turmoil.</p><p>Mace continued down into the depths of the Force, letting the energy guide him.</p><p>He knew he'd found it the moment he saw it, a twisted, ugly knot in his mindscape of the Force. It was a misshapen, ominous thing, that oozed with pain and fear and a dark, satisfied glee.</p><p>There was a sense of both Palpatine and Obi-Wan around it.</p><p>He circled the twist in the Force a few times.</p><p>Mace had never given much thought to what fate the Force had in store for him.</p><p>But in this moment, he wondered if this was what the Force had been preparing him for his whole life.</p><p>His ability to walk the path between light and dark had gotten him here, but it was the Force's gift to him that would let him do what needed to be done.</p><p>He would have only one chance to break the knot before it lashed out in self-defense.</p><p>The twisted knot in the Force was well-crafted, and to all appearances seemed invulnerable.</p><p>Unless one knew <em>just</em> where to break it apart.</p><p>Unless one could see its shatterpoint.</p><p>Mace had seen shatterpoints all his life.</p><p>It was an ability that had saved his live in battle many times, but it had never seemed as important as it did now. Mace pulled at the Force, asking, and it rushed to fill him, eager, trusting.</p><p>Mace pushed.</p><p>And the world <em>shattered</em>.</p><p>—</p><p>"You know, Cody. I can wait for the healer on my own. There's no need to—" The General cut himself off mid-word, choking, hand pressing at his chest as he gasped for air.</p><p>From Cody's comm Ponds’ voice was sharp and demanding. "It's time! Now!"</p><p>He threw himself forward, tackling his General.</p><p>Obi-Wan struggled, pushing at him, but Cody could already tell that he wasn't fighting the way he could have, the way he <em>should</em> have.</p><p>In moments he had his General pinned, helpless beneath him. His General had the Force. His General could fight back.</p><p>But he wouldn't, and Cody hated him a little for it.</p><p>"Cody?"</p><p>Cody didn't answer—couldn't answer—reaching for the weapons that had been left for him.</p><p>His General's eyes widened in shock.</p><p>The defibrillator buzzed in his hands and Cody <em>pushed</em>.</p><p>Beneath him his General seized, head snapping back violently against the cot.</p><p>The defibrillator buzzed in his hands again, and for the second time, Cody put the weapon over his General's heart.</p><p>His General seized again, and this time a cry escaped his lips. Cody's name.</p><p>Cody's name on his General's lips. The defibrillator shook in his hands.</p><p>Cody pressed down.</p><p>Obi-Wan stilled beneath him, eyes wide and empty.</p><p>The weapon fell from Cody's hands and to the floor. Clattering in heavy accusation at what Cody had just done.</p><p>His General didn't react, still as death.</p><p>Cody broke.</p><p>"General, <em>General. Obi-Wan!"</em></p><p>—</p><p>Rex saw the moment when the Chancellor stumbled.</p><p>"It's time. Now!" Ponds’ voice echoed from his comm, and Rex pushed himself up from where he'd barely managed to avoid another thrown Senatorial pod.</p><p>"General Yoda! Now!"</p><p>Rex had never seen any of the Jedi move the way General Yoda moved in that moment, all speed and intent; Palpatine never had the chance to recover from that slight stumble.</p><p>"NO!" Palpatine screeched, barely holding off General Yoda, and Rex aimed his blaster, prepared to take a shot should the opportunity arise.</p><p>It was never needed. Rex watched as Palpatine's corpse fell from the senatorial pod, long robes fluttering as the body careened towards the ground, the head rolling grotesquely across the senate floor.</p><p>Rex stared for a moment, frozen, then shook himself and carefully made his way closer to where General Yoda was hunched over, breathing harshly. "It's over." He almost couldn't believe it. After everything, it was finally over. It was <em>over</em>.</p><p>The war. The death. The loop.</p><p>Yoda's voice broke through his thoughts. "Not yet, it isnot."</p><p>—</p><p>"Medic! I need a medic!"</p><p>Obi-Wan's eyes were staring at him, still blank with death.</p><p>And yet, Cody couldn't help but think that he saw the hints of forgiveness in the slack face that stared up at him.</p><p>Cody almost wished that the gaze was accusatory, judgmental.</p><p>"Medic!"</p><p>—</p><p>Rex turned a little to stare at General Yoda who was watching the body of the Chancellor with steely, determined eyes.</p><p>"Sir?"</p><p>General Yoda turned to him, the look in his eyes weary and sad. "A final plan, does he have. Stop him I must."</p><p>Rex didn't understand what that meant.</p><p>General Yoda closed his eyes, hand reaching out and into the Force.</p><p>Rex crouched again, bringing his blaster up to bear as the very air of the room seemed to shake. Rex could feel the vibrations deep in his bones, and for a terrifying moment Rex was sure that his bones would shatter with the force of it.</p><p><em>Nooooo! </em>A piercing scream seemed to fill the air, coming from nowhere and everywhere all at once.</p><p>Rex dropped his blaster, hands going to his ears in a futile attempt to block out the sound.</p><p>And then as suddenly as it started, it stopped. The scream choked off in a final death cry, the air stilling.</p><p>Rex looked up, surprised to see that things seemed unchanged, as though nothing had happened.</p><p>General Yoda let out a strange, wheezing sound, a mix between a cough and a laugh. He fell to his knees, seeming to crumple in on himself in slow motion. Rex vaulted over the fallen pods to reach the small General in time to catch him before he fell on his face. He turned the General carefully. "General?"</p><p>General Yoda's eyes were calm, and Rex saw a familiar acceptance in them, the look he saw in too-injured brothers in the aftermath of battle. "Now, over it is."</p><p>The General's eyes fell closed.</p><p>—</p><p>Cody had been pushed to the side as Coarse and Healer Bant worked desperately over his General's body.</p><p>They were snapping at each other in sharp, quick sentences filled with medical jargon that Cody didn't have the expertise to follow, and he could only watch helplessly as they tried desperately to start his General's heart again.</p><p>All he could do was stare at his General's limp body, whispering quiet pleas, as though his whispers could follow his General into death and bring him back to Cody.</p><p>"Come back, General. Please, come back."</p><p>The chaos outside the hall was barely enough to draw his attention, and a brief glance—and no, he couldn't take his eyes off his General, just in case—showed him General Windu unconscious on a stretcher being pushed into the opposite room.</p><p>Around his General, Bant and Coarse were slowing, and Cody saw a heart-broken resignation in their eyes.</p><p>No. No.</p><p>Jedi had a certain resistance to electricity, he'd seen them take Sith Lightning that would kill a brother. And a stopped heart could be started back up again if they got there soon enough.</p><p>It should have been enough.</p><p>Cody had hoped <em>desperately</em> that it would be enough.</p><p>Enough to kill his General to break the loop, but enough to bring him back as well.</p><p>"Please General. <em>Please</em>."</p><p>Arms wrapped around him in a tight embrace, pulling him back, and that was the only reason Cody didn't throw himself at his fallen General.</p><p>"Cody, vod'ika. It's over. I'm sorry, but it's over." It was Ponds.</p><p>No.</p><p>They'd finished this. They'd won the war. Saved their brothers from the chips. Ended the loop. Killed the Sith.</p><p>They were supposed to save his General.</p><p>
  <em>Please.</em>
</p><p>Healer Eerin stepped away, a hand on Coarse’s shoulder pulling him away, leaving Cody a clear view of his General's still form.</p><p>"I'm sorry." Healer Eerin's voice was quiet, and Cody could hear the grief in her own voice.</p><p>No.</p><p>All Cody had wanted was to save his General.</p><p>Instead, he'd killed him.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. The Love One Claims</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Everything hurt, but Obi-Wan couldn't concentrate on that. The air around him seemed to be saturated with heavy grief, and Obi-Wan could barely pick out several different individuals amidst all of the heavy emotion. Sharper and more distinct than the rest, he could feel his Commander, and the man was nearly drowning in grief and pain and loss.</p>
<p>Obi-Wan hated the thought of his Commander in such pain, wished there was something he could do to help. But there was nothing he could do, all he could do was let his Commander know that he was here, that Cody wasn’t alone. “Cody.“ The word came out a strained rasp, and the pain in his chest seemed to spread.</p>
<p>What had happened?</p>
<p>At the sound of his voice a sense of shock spread across the room.</p>
<p>And then suddenly there were hands on him, a strange mix of gentle and desperate as they roved over his body, stopping to rest, one on his heart, and another against his neck as though checking for a pulse. “General.“ It was his Commander's voice, though Obi-Wan had only heard it crack that way with unspoken grief a few times, after the very worst of the battles. “Obi-Wan.“</p>
<p>Memories were slowly coming back.</p>
<p>His Commander tackling him. Electricity coursing through his body. Cody's eyes full of grief and guilt.</p>
<p>Obi-Wan didn't understand.</p>
<p>He forced his eyes open to see his Commander staring down at him. “Cody?“</p>
<p>Cody had killed him. But then Cody had killed him so many times now, and Obi-Wan could never bring himself to blame him. But Obi-Wan had never woken up to his Commander's haunted eyes and grief-filled face.</p>
<p>“General.“ Cody's hands moved away, and Obi-Wan missed the warmth, then they were back, gentle on his cheeks as Cody cupped his face. “It's over. It's all over. The war. The loop. All of it.“</p>
<p>Obi-Wan's heart seemed to shake in his chest, it was beating so hard and it <em>hurt</em>.</p>
<p>Over? It was... it was over?</p>
<p>It couldn't...</p>
<p>Could it?</p>
<p>It was too much, his poor broken heart couldn't take it.</p>
<p>He felt unconsciousness take him.</p>
<p>—</p>
<p>
  <em>They found him unconscious on the ground, surrounded by large shards of broken stone.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“What happened?“ Rex asked, and he couldn't help but keep his voice quiet. There was something about this cave, something strange. There was a warm air coming from nowhere that seemed to be chasing the cold away.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“I don't know.“ Cody answered, and Rex watched as his vod carefully checked over the General, looking for injuries.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Something had happened. They'd felt it while still above ground, a strange vibration that had seemed to shake the whole island. The Lanai closest to them had dropped their tools at the sensation, turning to look at where Obi-Wan had disappeared.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>And then they'd started singing, the song echoing over all of the island as more and more of the Lanai had picked it up. It had been beautiful, joyous, and yet somehow a little haunting.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Everything Rex had seen of the Lanai had been the picture of diligent serenity, from their solemn demeanor to their simple nun-like clothing, and even in this sudden flush of excitement they still carried an unmistakable composure, but it did nothing to hide their joy, their happiness, as though something remarkable had happened.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Two of the Lanai had pushed at them, and the amount of force that those small, grey hands could manage, had taken Rex by surprise, gesturing insistently to the hole the General had disappeared down. It had been all that either of them had needed to follow the General.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Rex carefully felt at the General's neck, and the man's pulse was a steady, soothing thing.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>And what had their General done? That left him stretched out unconscious on the floor while above them the Lanai rejoiced.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“Rex.“ Rex's eyes jerked up to see that General Kenobi's eyes had opened and he was staring at him. “Cody.“</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“General.“ Cody's voice was hushed, but Rex could still hear the deep care that layered it.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“Thank you.“ The General's eyes fluttered closed for a second, before he forced them open again. “Thank you for saving me.“</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Rex felt his heart seize.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“Always, General.“</em>
</p>
<p>—</p>
<p>The funeral for Master Yoda was a somber affair, and for many of the Jedi, it seemed to cast a shroud over the happiness they should have felt at the end of the war.</p>
<p>Obi-Wan didn't know how he felt. Emotions seemed strangely distant from him.</p>
<p>He'd mourned Yoda's death before.</p>
<p>He'd mourned <em>with</em> Yoda too, in times when the rest of the Jedi had been wiped out.</p>
<p>Yoda, he knew, would much rather they grieve him than be left one of the lone survivors to grieve over the death of the Jedi.</p>
<p>When Obi-Wan closed his eyes he could almost see those days, the way Yoda had finally, <em>truly</em> seemed as old as his years made him. How the loss had seemed to bury the old Master as he touched gentle, clawed fingers to a youngling's face, closing their empty eyes in death.</p>
<p>And yet, Obi-Wan couldn't help but grieve the loss. Master Yoda had seemed as omni-present as the Force, as though he too had always been and always would be.</p>
<p><em>Peace, young Obi-Wan. Death, yes</em>. Yoda's voice seemed to echo in his ears, as soft and warm as it'd been when Obi-Wan had been a youngling. <em>But the Force.</em></p>
<p>—</p>
<p>
  <em>Cody woke up silently, only a small hiccup in his breathing indicating that he'd woken up at all.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>He opened his eyes to stare at the ceiling of the small hut that they all shared. The thatch ceiling did little to help Cody forget the scene from his dreams. He couldn't place the planet from his dream; there had been so many, and at some point they'd all started blending together.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>He could almost smell the battlefield, a heavy, bloody scent that had seemed to permeate everything in that dream state and followed him back into waking.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>The grief was like an anvil, heavy on his chest. Difficult to breathe around and grinding him down.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>So many dead. So many brothers gone. And for what?</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Beside him Obi-Wan stirred.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Cody closed his eyes again, trying to fake sleep, but his body was too stiff to really pull it off.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>For a long moment he thought it'd worked anyways, or at least that Obi-Wan would let him get away with it. But then a hand was running through his hair, so soft and gentle Cody thought it might break him.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>He couldn't be sure when the tears started escaping, but he could feel the heat of them on his skin.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“You should sleep, General,“ Cody managed to force out. “I'm fine.“</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Obi-Wan didn't answer immediately, but the hand still running through Cody's hair didn't falter. “Sleep will still be there tomorrow, Cody. Let me be here tonight.“</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Cody knew he should probably protest, should convince Obi-Wan to sleep because Obi-Wan so desperately needed it. But the presence of his General helped to ease some of the overwhelming grief. So instead he managed a nod, his hand scrambling over the blankets in search of Obi-Wan's. Obi-Wan seemed to understand, because the hand not running through Cody's hair moved to slide into Cody's own without hesitation.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Cody didn't know how long they lay there, Obi-Wan gently running a hand through his hair, Cody gripping his other hand tight enough that it must have hurt. They lay there long enough for Rex to stir awake and see what was happening. They laid together even longer after that, Rex curled around Cody like a shield, murmuring quietly in Mando'a.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>The grief didn't ever leave, and Cody suspected that he might never be truly free of it, even if Cody managed to get old and gray—and it was strange to think that was a real possibility now—but the weight of it lessened, and Cody could breathe.</em>
</p>
<p>—</p>
<p>Healer Sihle was a calm, patient woman, with a sabaac face that would make a pirate weep. She was also one of the best soul healers they had in the temple.</p>
<p>Obi-Wan couldn't bear to look at her. Instead, he stared at the painting behind her. An old Alderaanian impressionist piece if Obi-Wan judged correctly. The colors were still vibrant, managing to bring a spark of warmth and cheer to the otherwise simple room.</p>
<p>“We can start anywhere you like. With that first life,“ Healer Sihle said quietly, “with the war. Or we could start from the end, with what happened between you and your Commander.“ When Cody had killed him while still in his right mind, and then pulled him back from that dark abyss, begging him to live. “Or with what happened near the end, in your—“ Obi-Wan saw her quickly glance down to check the notes that she'd been given by Mace and Cody. “—second to last iteration.“</p>
<p>His suicide attempt while on the bridge.</p>
<p>Words drifted half-formed through his mind, but Obi-Wan couldn't make himself speak any of them out loud.</p>
<p>He could start anywhere, the Healer had said. But that would mean that Obi-Wan would have to start.</p>
<p>He tried so hard <em>not</em> to think about it, while at the same time it often felt like the only thing he <em>could</em> think about. Life after life. Death after death.</p>
<p>He’d tried to keep track, but with no physical way to keep count all of the different iterations had started to blur together into one long, never-ending nightmare.</p>
<p>Still, with all of the debriefings that had come after, the many retellings, the attempt to compare different lives to see what threats might still be lurking in this new, more permanent timeline, Obi-Wan had come to the tentative conclusion that his soul had been dragged through the loop exactly 212 times.</p>
<p>A part of him found the number darkly appropriate.</p>
<p>He wondered what Healer Sihle would say if he shared that with her. It was a safe, almost impersonal observation, something that Obi-Wan couldn’t even prove as fact.</p>
<p>But those words, just like all the others, failed to escape.</p>
<p>Obi-Wan stared at the painting and wondered how the artist had managed to create the impression of a tree reaching up for the sun without actually drawing a tree or a sun.</p>
<p>They lasted in silence for a long while, Healer Sihle letting him stare at the painting behind her without pressuring further.</p>
<p>Eventually they reached the end of his session, and Obi-Wan hadn't been able to force out a single word.</p>
<p>“Obi-Wan.“ Healer Sihle's voice was gentle. “What you went through was—“ she shook her head. “Traumatizing. I know that right now, healing might seem impossible. But with time, with time you will heal.“</p>
<p>Obi-Wan flinched a little, and he hoped he'd manage to hide it from Healer Sihle's concerned eyes.</p>
<p>He'd had <em>so </em>much time.</p>
<p>It seemed impossible that any amount of time might be enough to start healing from what time had done to him.</p>
<p>—</p>
<p>
  <em>“I shouldn't have taken you from your brothers.“ Obi-Wan was huddled in on himself, and he looked like he was about to shake right out of his skin. “You deserve to be living your own lives now that the war is over, not watching over a broken wreck like me.“</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Rex exchanged worried glances with Cody, before slowly stepping closer to the General. “General—“</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“Obi-Wan, please.“ If anything, Obi-Wan seemed to grow even smaller. “I'm not a General. You, both of you,“ and here he looked up, eyes a little desperate. “You owe me nothing. I'm not your General anymore. You had no obligation to follow me into the far reaches of the galaxy.“</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Cody flinched a little, and Rex rested a light hand on Cody's arm. The General—Obi-Wan—didn't mean it in the sense of abandonment. To Obi-Wan, General was just a title.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>For them, well, general was a title, yes. But when it came to Obi-Wan, at some point it had become something more… almost a term of endearment, a way of claiming some tiny bit out of this war that they could take and make their own. He wasn’t just </em>
  <b><em>a</em> </b>
  <em>general… he was </em>
  <b><em>their</em> </b>
  <em>General.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Rex felt similarly about General Skywalker, though admittedly for all that he loved his own General, well, there were different sorts of love.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“We were the ones that chose this,“ Rex said quietly. “And you didn't steal us from our brothers.“</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Rex watched as Cody inched closer and closer to the General. “Boil said he'd lead a mutiny against me if I so much as thought about letting you out into the Galaxy without me there.“</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>This didn't seem to give Obi-Wan much comfort. “Boil shouldn't have—“</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“We care for you, Obi-Wan,“ Rex interrupted, and it felt strange to have their General's name fall from his lips, but it also felt right. “We wanted to be here. And our brothers, they wanted us to be here. Not just for you, but because they knew that we wouldn't be truly happy unless we were by your side.“</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>It was... true.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Oh, Rex and Cody would both eventually have found a measure of happiness if they'd been with their brothers. How could they not?</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>But... well. Rex wanted to be here.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>It was his turn to start inching closer and closer to their General.</em>
</p>
<p>—</p>
<p>Padme was screaming.</p>
<p>The sound was echoing in Obi-Wan's ears, and how many times? How many times had Obi-Wan been here?</p>
<p>“It's going to be okay, Padme. Just push.“ Anakin's voice was a mix of elated and terrified. Anakin being here, present for the birth, was the only thing that seemed out of place so far; it was far rarer for that to have occurred.</p>
<p>“Don't ‘it's going to be okay’ me, Skywalker! This is your fault!“ Another scream echoed in the air. “You're never going to touch me again, I hope you know that Anakin. Never again!“</p>
<p>Anakin ignored that. “You're almost there!“</p>
<p>Obi-Wan thought he might be sick. He wanted nothing more than to run from the room. But Anakin had asked him to be there, had looked so fervently hopeful.</p>
<p>Beside him Ahsoka was watching through the glass with wide eyes. “I can't believe this is happening.“</p>
<p>“Yes,“ Obi-Wan agreed and hoped that Ahsoka couldn't pick up any of the many volatile emotions running through him.</p>
<p>A new wail joined Padme's screams. Luke.</p>
<p>Anakin was practically dancing, staring at the baby in the healer's arms in shock, even as Padme cried out again at another wave of pain.</p>
<p>“General.“ Rex was beside him, voice low. “Do you need—“</p>
<p>Obi-Wan shook his head. What he needed was to get away.</p>
<p>But he couldn't do that.</p>
<p>So instead he kept watching as the healers helped Padme with Leia.</p>
<p>“I can't believe I'm going to be an aunt.“ Ahsoka was practically bouncing on her toes, glee in every movement she made and resonating through the Force.</p>
<p>“You'll make a good one,“ Obi-Wan told her.</p>
<p>She had in the two months that the two of them had been on the run with the twins. Obi-Wan had hated leaving a comatose Padme behind for Anakin—though he'd been Vader that time—to find. But she'd asked them to protect the children, and they'd tried.</p>
<p>Anakin came out, two bundles in his arms.</p>
<p>“Obi-Wan, Ahsoka, Rex. Meet my children.“</p>
<p>Anakin held out one bundle and Obi-Wan carefully took it, staring down in... he actually found he couldn't name the emotion he was feeling as he stared down at Leia as Anakin handed Luke to Ahsoka, who seemed a mix of terrified and awed to be holding Anakin's child.</p>
<p>“You've got Luke,“ Anakin told him. “And Ahsoka's got Leia.“</p>
<p>Obi-Wan shook his head. “I've got Leia.“</p>
<p>Anakin frowned. “No. I handed you—“ He peered closer. “Wait, you're right. I thought I put Leia in the other blanket. How did you know?“</p>
<p>Obi-Wan tried to smile, but suspected he'd failed. “A lucky guess.“</p>
<p>He would know Luke and Leia anywhere.</p>
<p>Leia opened her eyes, and Obi-Wan rocked her back and forth as she stared up at him.</p>
<p>Beside him Ahsoka was cooing down at Luke.</p>
<p>Maybe... Maybe these two bundles of light would have a chance.</p>
<p>—</p>
<p>
  <em>Cody wasn't sure who made the first move.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>It hadn't been Obi-Wan, that much was certain. So it must have been him or Rex. But he couldn't be quite certain which of them had moved first, or if really either of them had moved at all.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Perhaps it was the Lanai, who seemed to watch the three of them with a strangely tolerant amusement. The caretakers had been insistent about forcing them out of the small, individual dwellings they'd had and into one—slightly larger, but still cozy—hut.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Or maybe it had been the sharp temperature drop. On those bitterly cold nights it was so much easier to find warmth when pressed against each other.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Possibly it had just been. They'd always taken strength in each other, sought comfort in each others’ presence, found joy in each others’ happiness.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>But one day Cody opened his eyes and realized that the three of them were something more than they had been.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>The thought seemed to follow him throughout the day, echoing in the comfortable silences and underscoring the easy banter.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>And now they sat here, watching the suns as they drifted below the horizon casting their light over the sea in a scene so beautiful it seemed nearly unreal.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>But Cody couldn’t think about that sort of beauty. All he could think about, was that he wanted this, that he had for a long time. Perhaps not always, but certainly for long enough that it felt like he'd always wanted it.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>He wanted it so much, the three of them like this, that it almost took his breath away.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>So maybe none of them had made the first move, yet. Maybe that was Cody's job.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>He didn't know what possessed him to do it, but he leaned forward and brushed his lips across Obi-Wan's, watched as Obi-Wan's eyes widened in surprise. “Rex loves you, you know.“</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Obi-Wan blinked at him, looking confused, either by the kiss Cody had just given him or the words that had accompanied it. Obi-Wan's hand came up to touch his lips, and he couldn't seem to take his eyes off of Cody. His voice, when he spoke, was full of both longing and confusion. “Rex loves me?“</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Rex, thankfully, seemed to understand the same thing that Cody had just realized, because he shifted forward, an arm wrapping around Obi-Wan's waist to brush his own lips against Obi-Wan's.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“Cody loves you.“</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>If anything, Obi-Wan seemed even more confused, though there was nothing to indicate he hadn't liked being kissed. “Oh.“</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Cody stepped back a little, and he felt strangely calm. “It doesn't need to be anything more than what it is.“</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“We don't need anything more from you than what you're willing to share,“ Rex agreed, and Cody saw that same ease in his brother's eyes.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Obi-Wan's brow furrowed, and Cody wasn't sure what he expected.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>And maybe they'd always just been, because a moment later the furrow in Obi-Wan's brow eased. “I love you both, too.“</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>And then Obi-Wan was leaning into Rex, catching Cody's fingers in his hand and they finished watching the suns set. Something had changed, but at the same time, nothing had. They... they just were.</em>
</p>
<p>—</p>
<p>Obi-Wan was exhausted.</p>
<p>He'd promised Cody he'd try to get some sleep, and that was probably the only reason Cody had left him to his own devices.</p>
<p>But sleep was an elusive friend these days. Coming rarely, and bringing with it a slew of nightmares that made Obi-Wan wish that it hadn't come at all.</p>
<p>He rubbed at his eyes, trying to find the energy to finish this last piece of paperwork.</p>
<p>It wasn't necessary, strictly speaking. Mace had tried to convince Obi-Wan that he could take some time to breathe, some time to heal.</p>
<p>But Obi-Wan didn't know that he could sit idle. He couldn't remember the last time he had, and his mind and body didn't know how to handle it.</p>
<p>So more paperwork, more missions—if he could ever get the rest of the Council to sign off on sending him out—more things to do.</p>
<p>Stay busy.</p>
<p>Try and pretend that things were normal.</p>
<p>He rubbed his eyes again. Force, he really was tired. He could go to bed in a minute though.</p>
<p>Just this one last piece of paperwork, he was almost done...</p>
<p>His eyes slipped closed without his permission, seeking sleep.</p>
<p>Obi-Wan's body jerked back as the sensation of falling—if he could call his consciousness slamming back into his body falling—once again caught up with him.</p>
<p>His eyes jerked open, terrified. No, no. He'd escaped. He was free. They'd freed him, killed Palpatine. This wasn't... This couldn't...</p>
<p>A desk full of too many datapads sat in front of him.</p>
<p>Obi-Wan <em>shattered</em>.</p>
<p>It'd been a trick. A ploy. This was all still part of Palpatine's game. He was still trapped. Force. <em>Force</em>.</p>
<p>No. No.</p>
<p>Not again.</p>
<p>He couldn't.</p>
<p>He couldn't.</p>
<p>He couldn't do this.</p>
<p>He couldn't breathe.</p>
<p>He couldn't breathe.</p>
<p>He couldn't breathe.</p>
<p>He couldn’t do this.</p>
<p>He couldn't.</p>
<p>He couldn't.</p>
<p>Not again.</p>
<p>No. No.</p>
<p>Everything seemed to fade away in the wake of the terror that encapsulated him. Obi-Wan couldn’t handle this. He couldn’t. He needed out. He needed to be free… he needed… needed…</p>
<p>“Obi-Wan! Breathe!“ Hands grabbed at his shoulders, man-handling his body until his forehead was resting against that of another. Fingers were digging into his shoulder blade, the pain a counterpoint to the panic.</p>
<p>“Breathe with me, Obi-Wan. You need to breathe.“</p>
<p>His hand was grabbed, pulled up until it rested on the chest in front of him.</p>
<p>“Feel this? I need you to copy me. Come on, Obi-Wan. You wouldn't want people to think that I'm better at breathing than you.“</p>
<p>Something about the ridiculousness of the statement pulled at Obi-Wan, and he pulled in a harsh breath.</p>
<p>“That's right. I knew that would work. You just can't let me have anything. No, I just can't win with you. Not even in a breathing contest.“</p>
<p>Obi-Wan knew that voice. “Quinlan?“ Obi-Wan choked out.</p>
<p>“Yep, it's me.“</p>
<p>Quinlan wasn't supposed to be here.</p>
<p>Wasn't supposed to be on the Negotiator.</p>
<p>“Scared me a little bit. Though if you tell anyone else that, I'll tell them you're crazy. But I felt you in the Force, like you were drowning. Kind of broke your door getting in here. Windu's probably going to lecture me about appropriate uses of the Force again. You know how much I hate that lecture. I mean, boring, am I right? I think Windu has it memorized. Actually, I think <em>I</em> have it memorized at this point. And really, a little bit of imaginative cursing would liven it up plenty and—“</p>
<p>“Quinlan?“ Obi-Wan didn't understand.</p>
<p>Quinlan wasn't supposed to be here.</p>
<p>Except, here wasn't the right place.</p>
<p>Here wasn't the Negotiator.</p>
<p>No, somehow Obi-Wan was in the Temple. The rough carpet beneath him stained with the juice that Anakin had spilled years ago.</p>
<p>“Is he dead, Quinlan?“</p>
<p>If Quinlan found the question odd, he didn't say as much. “Is who dead?“</p>
<p>“Palpatine, is he dead?“ Was Quinlan a trick? Had his mind finally broken completely?</p>
<p>“As dead as dead can be,“ Quinlan reassured him, voice fervent.</p>
<p>But... but...</p>
<p>But he'd fallen.</p>
<p>And then his desk.</p>
<p>It had been just like...</p>
<p>He'd fallen asleep at his desk, Obi-Wan realized, and when he'd jerked awake had mistaken the feeling as the one he'd learned to dread.</p>
<p>And then he'd seen his desk and by that point he'd been so lost in the fear of being trapped back in that loop that he hadn't realized it was the wrong desk. Hadn't been coherent enough to realize everything else was wrong.</p>
<p>It wasn't a trap.</p>
<p>It wasn't the loop.</p>
<p>Obi-Wan was fine.</p>
<p>He didn't feel fine.</p>
<p>“I...“ He needed to get away. Needed to... to... he didn't know. He needed to do something. Obi-Wan pushed away from Quinlan, trying to stand.</p>
<p>And when had he ended up on his knees anyways?</p>
<p>“I need to finish this paperwork.“</p>
<p>Yes. He had to keep busy.</p>
<p>Quinlan was still kneeling on the ground in front of him, staring up at him with dark, concerned eyes. “It'll wait, don't you think?“</p>
<p>Obi-Wan shook his head. “No. Better get it over with now.“ Exhaustion was still clinging to him, now even more than before, but he knew he wouldn't be able to sleep. Not with the fear and panic still racing through his blood.</p>
<p>Quinlan didn't move, and Obi-Wan had to look away from too-perceptive eyes.</p>
<p>“I don't know everything,“ Quinlan said quietly. “But I know something's been wrong for you for a while now.“</p>
<p>“Nothing's wrong,“ Obi-Wan said quietly, and he wanted to believe it, wanted it to be true. “The war's over. We're all... we're all as good as we can be.“</p>
<p>It was a good thing Cody hadn't seen this. Quinlan, well, Quinlan wasn't exactly Obi-Wan's first choice to have witness a breakdown, but Quinlan he could probably throw off. If it had been Cody or Rex… he shuddered at the thought of them seeing him like this, broken and helpless. No, those two he wouldn't be able to lie to.</p>
<p>Quinlan was frowning up at him, but then stood, groaning a little as he did so. “Force, my knee is getting old.“</p>
<p>“Just as old as the rest of you,“ Obi-Wan pointed out, grasping desperately for something approaching banter. Something <em>normal</em>.</p>
<p>“Nope, just the knee. The rest of me is young.“</p>
<p>“Sure it is.“ Obi-Wan stared at the data pad containing the paperwork he'd fallen asleep while doing.</p>
<p>Quinlan's arm landed heavily on Obi-Wan's shoulder, causing him to jump.</p>
<p>“What are you doing?“</p>
<p>Quinlan shrugged, smile mischievous. “Kidnapping you.“</p>
<p>“You are not—“</p>
<p>Quinlan just dragged him towards the door. “Look, you need out of your room. I can feel this place sucking away at my soul after just five minutes, I'm sure it's about drained you dry.“</p>
<p>“Quinlan, this isn't—“</p>
<p>Quinlan did as Quinlan was wont to do and ignored him, interrupting him in a loud voice. “You look a little too much like a corpse to take out for a drink. And it looks like a light wind might knock you over, so a spar's probably out. We could do food—“ Quinlan glanced at him, and must have seen something in Obi-Wan's face “—but it looks like even the thought of food is going to make you puke, and let me tell you, hard pass on that. I'm not cleaning up after you if you get sick. Let's see, what can we do...“</p>
<p>“We don't need to do anything.“ Obi-Wan pointed out, but found he didn't have the energy, or even the inclination to fight Quinlan as he pulled him past where his front door was mostly caved in, and out into the hallway. Quinlan really had broken his door.</p>
<p>Maybe if he gave Quinlan this win, he'd forget about what had happened, would think the problem solved with a night out.</p>
<p>“I got it,“ Quinlan decided. “The Layered Park. You like that place. Lots of green, growing things. That's fun, right?“</p>
<p>Obi-Wan hadn't been there in... Obi-Wan couldn’t remember how long it had been.</p>
<p>Back when Anakin had still been a padawan, at least.</p>
<p>“I didn't think you liked the park.“</p>
<p>It was less park and more garden, at least by Quinlan's standards. Quinlan thought that it shouldn't count as a park unless you were allowed to jump on everything. And as the layered garden was more plants and sculptures than anything, there wasn't much for Quinlan to jump on.</p>
<p>“Boring as all get-out. But Aayla's always telling me to spend more time with green things.“ Quinlan frowned. “Or maybe it was to eat the green things?“</p>
<p>“I can't believe your former padawan is the one who has to tell you to eat your vegetables,“ Obi-Wan muttered.</p>
<p>Quinlan shrugged. “It is what it is. Now come on.“</p>
<p>—</p>
<p>
  <em>Rex didn’t think he’s ever been so content in his whole life.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>He’s been happy. But to him, happy has always been snapshots of time, fleeting. He’s had moments of happiness, standing out in his memory for how clearly they differentiated themselves from… well, everything else. Moments where no one was dying and he could laugh and smile and enjoy. But only ever moments, because then the battle would come again and he’d stand on a battlefield and see the corpses of his brothers intermingled with fallen droids and he’d wonder if anyone other than his brothers even saw the difference between the two.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>And then, before that, he’d had Kamino.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>He’d… he’d had happiness on Kamino. He’d had his brothers, and that was all he’d really needed. Even as everything else ached deep in his soul.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>But content. That was… that was something different.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Because there was nothing wrong right now. There wasn’t even anything foreseeably imminent that he had to be preparing himself for.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>He wasn’t going to have to hide a shaking brother from the scrutinizing eyes of the Kaminoans, worried that this time the Long-necks would decide that the only answer was decommission.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>He wasn’t going to be called on to march into battle and either watch his brothers die or die himself.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>He wasn’t going to have to stand there at attention while politicians debated whether he counted as human and deserved something as simple as rights.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>The Kaminoans were gone—or rather, Rex was far out of their reach—the war was over, and Rex had his rights now. Had the ability to choose.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>He’d long-since learned, from the philosophy texts he’d secretly read during long hyperspace trips and from the frivolous holodramas that he watched with his brothers, that choice was a double-edged sword. Because along with choices came consequences he’d have to live with.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Given that he’d had to live with the consequences of everyone else choices for so long, he thought he could stand to live with the consequences of his own.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Especially since, so far, those consequences had been very good.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“You’re thinking heavy thoughts there, Captain.“</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Rex opened his eyes, not surprised to find that at some point in his ruminations Obi-Wan had settled next to him on the grass. “Where’s Cody?“</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Obi-Wan hummed. “He’s trying to convince the Lanai to let him see what tools they have available. He’s got some project in mind, not that he’ll tell me what it is.“ He gave Rex a narrow-eyed look. “I don’t suppose you know?“</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Rex shook his head. “Not a clue. But given it’s Cody, I’m sure it’ll be interesting.“</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Obi-Wan nodded at that. “Most things are, when it comes to Cody.“ He sighed a little, before settling. “But what’s on your mind, if I may ask?”</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“Just thinking about choices.“</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“Choices.“ Obi-Wan echoed. “There are many of those. Should I have the blue milk or the moorian tea? Should I sleep in or practice early morning meditation?“</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“Blue milk, because that moorian tea you drink deserves to be outlawed. And sleep in, because sleep. Those were hardly choices at all,“ Rex retorted, grinning a little.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Obi-Wan smiled back, but the expression faded quickly, replaced by serious concern. “And what are you feeling about the choices you’ve made thus far?“</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“I think they’ve worked out quite well for me, so far.“ He twisted so that he was on his stomach, head near Obi-Wan’s knee.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“You’re not… discontent?“ Obi-Wan asked, voice careful. “I know that this has been… an adjustment from what you’re used to. Not as much action. Or purpose.“</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>The sharp change in pace had admittedly been something of a struggle for Rex, initially. His only downtime in the past had been in those periods of ‘wait’ in the ‘hurry up and wait’ lifestyle that war was made up of, and now he had the ability to take all the downtime he needed.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“I’ve plenty of purpose,“ Rex countered, and then because he knew that Obi-Wan was constantly concerned that he was a burden to everyone within a parsec of him, he added. “Even if it’s only getting my own head on straight.“</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>True, he and Cody had initially come with Obi-Wan because Obi-Wan had needed to leave and neither of them could stand to leave him alone. But he’d found just as much healing as Obi-Wan, and in some ways, helping Obi-Wan heal had helped him to recover just as much. And in a quiet part of his mind he thought it might be true the other way around. That for Obi-Wan, being there for him and Cody was just as valuable as Cody and Rex being there for Obi-Wan.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Obi-Wan nodded, taking Rex’s words at face value.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“I’ve been happy before,“ Rex said quietly. “And I’m happy now.“</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“But?“ Obi-Wan asked, as though knowing there was more to it than that.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“I think I’m finally content,“ Rex finished, and from Obi-Wan’s quiet smile, Rex thought that he understood exactly what Rex meant.</em>
</p>
<p>—</p>
<p>The Layered Park, when they finally reached it, was mostly empty.</p>
<p>Coruscant may be the planet that never slept, but at this time of night people tended to visit cantinas rather than gardens.</p>
<p>It was quiet here, a rare thing to find when outside on Coruscant. But deep enough into the park, and in one of the middle levels, the sounds of traffic were a distant thing.</p>
<p>Obi-Wan felt something in him relax as he slid to the ground, digging his fingers into the real, living grass.</p>
<p>Quinlan sat beside him, strangely quiet for once.</p>
<p>It was... peaceful. It wasn't as vibrant as the Room of a Thousand Fountains. But here, at least, there were no memories to taint it. He hadn't visited this place in years, not once in all of the loops he'd been through.</p>
<p>There had never been a reason for it.</p>
<p>And it made the place... safe. For lack of a better word.</p>
<p>“Do you want to talk about it?“ Quinlan asked quietly.</p>
<p>“About what?“ Obi-Wan asked, though there was really only one thing that Quinlan could be asking about.</p>
<p>The panic attack that he had interrupted.</p>
<p>“Windu came to me, you know,“ Quinlan said quietly. “When you first got back from the Outer Rim Sieges. I was the Jedi he put on Dooku's tracks.“</p>
<p>Obi-Wan felt his breath catch in his throat. He... he hadn't realized. So much of that last loop was still a mystery to him. He knew that Mace knew, that several of his men knew. He knew that Anakin somehow <em>didn't</em> know, purely because if Anakin had known, then Obi-Wan would have heard about it by now. But Quinlan? “Did he... Did he tell you?“</p>
<p>“No.“ Quinlan sighed. “But I realized something was wrong. Honestly didn't worry too much about what it might be.“ Quinlan sent him a sad smile. “But when me and Skywalker got back I put a lot of it together. I went and got some clarification from Windu. Trust me, I'm never touching any of your belongings again. And I highly suggest you burn all of your old robes and get some new ones. Some that don't have the baggage these carry.“</p>
<p>“Do you think it'd help?“ Obi-Wan asked, and he hated how weak he sounded. How desperate. How much he was truly considering burning some perfectly fine robes in an attempt to lessen at least some of the constant feeling of being overwhelmed, of being lost, of being trapped.</p>
<p>“Yeah,“ Quinlan said quietly. “I do.“</p>
<p>“Burning my clothes? Really?“</p>
<p>“Yes. You're not psychometric, but those emotions are still hanging off of you and they've soaked into a lot of your things.“ Quinlan paused. “But more than that. You need fewer associations with <em>that</em> time. Staying in the Temple, surrounded by the same people, doing so many of the same things... It's not good for you.“</p>
<p>“I don't want to leave them,“ Obi-Wan said quietly. “And where would I go? What would I do?“</p>
<p>“I don't know. But I'm sure there's gotta be some abandoned Jedi Temple that the Council would appreciate someone cleaning out. Maybe there’ll even be some nice boring archives for you to read your way through. And I'm sure that they, and I presume by ‘them’, you meant your men, would be willing to help you.“</p>
<p>“Just pick up and leave,” Obi-Wan said, and he could hear the distaste in his voice. It wasn't that it didn't sound appealing.</p>
<p>Force, it did.</p>
<p>Sometimes it was so hard to remember, stuck here on Coruscant, that he'd broken free of Palpatine's loop.</p>
<p>But he didn't want Palpatine to win.</p>
<p>And this... this idea of running away. It felt like one more thing for Palpatine to take, when he'd already stolen so much else.</p>
<p>He couldn’t quite stop himself from voicing the thought, couldn’t stop the way the grief and hurt—and a little bit of that hatred—slipped into his words. “Let Palpatine win.“</p>
<p>“No.“ Quinlan's voice was calm. Strangely serious. But then, it wasn't every day that his friend was forced to break into Obi-Wan's room to pull him from a panic attack. “Let yourself heal.“</p>
<p>Obi-Wan closed his eyes.</p>
<p>Heal? Was that even possible?</p>
<p>Obi-Wan stared up at the sky. The lights and pollution made it impossible to see the stars, but it was unlikely that the rest of the galaxy had ceased to exist since the last time Obi-Wan had seen the stars.</p>
<p>Something occurred to him. “You were keeping watch on me.“</p>
<p>How else had Quinlan gotten into his rooms so fast when Obi-Wan had gotten trapped in his panic attack.</p>
<p>Quinlan was quiet for a moment. “Someone always is. Windu added me to the rotation when I confronted him about what I'd felt.“</p>
<p>Watched. He was still being watched. Just like Palpatine had somehow watched his every move, known his every bit of hope so he could crush it.</p>
<p>“I'm fine.“</p>
<p>Quinlan sighed. “No, you're not. And, Obi-Wan...“ Obi-Wan glanced over at Obi-Wan to see Quinlan looking genuinely hesitant. Hesitant wasn't Quinlan's style.</p>
<p>“What?“</p>
<p>Quinlan bit his lip. “I know more than just a little.“ He admitted quietly. “I know about what happened in what was your men's first time.“</p>
<p>Obi-Wan felt his chest grow cold.</p>
<p>“I know that you refused to see a soul healer.“</p>
<p>Mace had begged him to try. Obi-Wan had attempted one session once. But the experience... It wasn't that Obi-Wan thought he didn't need it. He knew he did. But he just... He couldn't do it. Not yet. Not so soon. He couldn't talk to someone about everything that had happened. Couldn't go over all of his different failures when this life was supposed to be permanent and they'd <em>remember</em>, they'd <em>know</em>.</p>
<p>He couldn't explain the devastation that was still eating at him. He wasn't ready. Wasn't ready to relive all of that.</p>
<p>There was too much.</p>
<p>The physical torture.</p>
<p>The mental torture.</p>
<p>The hopelessness.</p>
<p>The helplessness.</p>
<p>Force, so many different iterations of soul-wrenching loss and pain.</p>
<p><em>Years</em> of mental isolation and mind games, and... and...</p>
<p>There was just... there was too much.</p>
<p>And he just... Even trying to work through it all. It was too much right now.</p>
<p>“I can't right now.“ It sounded like such a paltry excuse.</p>
<p>It was.</p>
<p>It was pathetic.</p>
<p>Quinlan didn't say as much though. “I get that.“ He paused. “But, well. Given that... Given what happened. And given that you haven't found someone you can talk to yet. Well, no one wanted to leave you to your own devices. It was decided that someone should be readily available just in case something went wrong.“</p>
<p>Obi-Wan wasn't sure how he felt.</p>
<p>They didn't trust him—perhaps not in the traditional sense of distrust, no, in most matters they still trusted him, maybe even too much—they didn't think he could be left alone or he would...</p>
<p>He closed his eyes.</p>
<p>He'd been alone—not physically, but mentally—for so long. And he'd stayed alive, he'd kept going, he'd <em>survived</em>. But <em>now</em>, now they thought he'd break?</p>
<p>He could have found it insulting. Except...</p>
<p>Except... they were right.</p>
<p>It wasn't that he planned to... Even the thought was hard to formulate. It wasn't that he planned to try killing himself again.</p>
<p>But if he had another panic attack like the one he'd just had, if there wasn't someone around to pull him out.</p>
<p>If he wasn't able to pull himself out.</p>
<p>He...</p>
<p>He didn't trust himself either.</p>
<p>The truth dug like a blade into his chest, twisting painfully.</p>
<p>“I'm tired, Quinlan.“</p>
<p>“I can't even imagine,“ Quinlan said quietly, and there was so much compassion in his voice, so much care. “Try sleeping.“</p>
<p>They both knew that it wasn't just a physical tired, and that sleeping could only do so much, but still, Obi-Wan found himself curling up on the grass, pulling his robes tighter around him to conserve warmth.</p>
<p>“Wake me up in fifteen minutes.“</p>
<p>Quinlan hummed what sounded like agreement.</p>
<p>“Don't let the galaxy fall apart while I'm asleep,“ Obi-Wan added. He couldn't deal with a broken galaxy right now.</p>
<p>He couldn't even deal with himself.</p>
<p>Quinlan snorted. “Do my best.“</p>
<p>That was good enough for now, Obi-Wan decided, and he let his eyes slip closed.</p>
<p>—</p>
<p>
  <em>Rex checked the next hut quickly, eyes scanning the empty space before moving on.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>The General had disappeared.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>He'd said he wanted to spend some time with the ancient texts the Lanai had shown him, and the Lanai had seemed genuinely eager to share what they knew with the General.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>He and Cody had thought it would be fine. Had left the General to his texts while they'd explored.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>But then the General hadn't been there when they'd come back. He hadn't been in their hut, hadn't been on the ship, hadn't been on his favorite meditation rock.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>It was probably fine, Rex reminded himself.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Everything was probably fine.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Except...</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Except what if it wasn't? What if the General had had another panic attack? What if the General had...</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>No. No.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Things were getting better, Obi-Wan was getting better.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>He was healing.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>They all were.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>But Obi-Wan wasn't to be found anywhere he normally was, and maybe it was an overreaction, but Rex couldn't help but panic. Cody was no better.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Rex took the side path that led around the island, and he wasn't quite running but it was close.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>He just... He just wanted to have eyes on the General. Just wanted to know that he was okay. Just wanted a reminder that the nightmares that Rex sometimes had, where he was too slow to knock the blaster away, were just that. A nightmare.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>He heard a Lanai chattering, the strange language that Rex couldn't quite replicate and he moved towards it. Maybe they'd seen Obi-Wan.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>He turned the corner, and the rock wall on the side of the path banked down, showing Rex a small meadow of grass and flowers.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Rex felt his heart clench as he caught sight of his General's back where he was sitting on the grass, facing a Lanai.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>The Lanai saw him, shaking her head a little, as though telling him to stay back.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Rex wanted nothing more than to cross the grass to his General, to run his hands over him to make sure that there were no injuries hidden from his sight.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>He stayed put though.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Obi-Wan's voice carried clearly through the still air.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“—was furious. It was like, it was like he wasn't even Anakin, as though he'd been taken over by this... by this shadow of himself. He would turn on anyone. I saw him kill Padme. I saw him kill Ahsoka. Rex. Cody. Once I even saw him kill Palpatine, though that only happened long after he'd killed everyone else. No one was safe from him. And I... I did that. I raised him. And I... I never saw it, or if I did, I thought... I suppose I trusted him. I should have seen, though. I should have stopped things long—“</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>The Lanai said something, and Obi-Wan looked down.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“I don't know. How can I ever—“</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Rex carefully backed away, returning to the path before he could be seen.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Oh.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>It... It hadn't been easy to hear. And it hurt. Fett blast him, but it did. It hurt to hear that about General Skywalker. But at the same time Rex felt something dangerously like hope.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Obi-Wan was talking to someone.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Obi-Wan was getting help.</em>
</p>
<p>—</p>
<p>Mace was waiting quietly at Obi-Wan's door when Quinlan finally took him home after Obi-Wan had woken up far longer than fifteen minutes later.</p>
<p>“Obi-Wan.“</p>
<p>“Mace.“ He looked at his broken door. “Do you want to come in?“</p>
<p>“Thank you.“ Mace glanced at the door and then at Quinlan, but there was no recrimination there, just a quiet sort of gratitude.</p>
<p>Quinlan nodded to Mace. “I'll see you later, Obi-Wan.“</p>
<p>Obi-Wan watched him go.</p>
<p>“Are you my keeper for the next little bit?“ Obi-Wan asked Mace quietly as he entered through the broken door.</p>
<p>“I'm your friend, Obi-Wan.“</p>
<p>Obi-Wan looked away, moving aimlessly to the small kitchen to put on tea.</p>
<p>“I think Quinlan's right,“ Obi-Wan said finally as the silence stretched on.</p>
<p>“Rare, but it happens,“ Mace said, and there was a teasing note in his voice. Obi-Wan smiled despite himself. “What is he right about?“</p>
<p>Obi-Wan carefully pulled the tea leaves down from their shelf. Stared blankly at them.</p>
<p>Maybe he needed different tea flavors, too. Something different.</p>
<p>“I don't think I can stay here on Coruscant.“</p>
<p>It hurt to admit. But it was true. He'd needed Quinlan to say it, but somewhere inside Obi-Wan had already known.</p>
<p>Only his desperate desire to not let Palpatine steal this from him had kept him from acting on that quiet knowledge.</p>
<p>But what would be a greater victory for Palpatine? Obi-Wan leaving Coruscant, perhaps forever, or Obi-Wan shattering so completely he'd never have a chance of being put back together again.</p>
<p>“Okay,“ Mace said quietly. “We've got a couple options for you, unless you have something in mind yourself.“</p>
<p>Obi-Wan looked up, surprised. Mace was leaning against his table, not a trace of judgment in his eyes.</p>
<p>“You're not surprised.“</p>
<p>Mace shook his head. “We were trying to give you time to decide what you needed. This was one of the options we considered you might choose.“</p>
<p>“Oh.“ Obi-Wan turned back to the tea leaves. “I... I don't know where I'd go. I... I want to go somewhere new. Somewhere I've never been.“</p>
<p>The galaxy was a large place, and there were so many corners of it he'd never seen.</p>
<p>And yet the thought left him feeling restless, useless.</p>
<p>“Did you know,“ Mace started quietly. “That there was believed to be a Jedi temple in the outer rim? One that's been lost to time. There are hints in the archives about where it might be.“</p>
<p>“A treasure hunt,“ Obi-Wan said quietly, musing over the thought. It was certainly somewhere he'd never been. And finding it would even give him purpose, would allow him to contribute something back in a meaningful way.</p>
<p>It would keep him busy.</p>
<p>“Thank you, Mace.“</p>
<p>Mace hummed. “I don't suppose you’re grateful enough you’d be willing to share a cup of that red tea?“</p>
<p>Obi-Wan nodded, pulling down two cups, and carefully measuring the tea leaves. Red tea. He could do red tea.</p>
<p>—</p>
<p>
  <em>Rex hadn't seen any of his brothers that weren't Cody in months.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>And while he'd certainly never say that he'd been lonely, well, there was something right about being surrounded by his brothers again.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Boil and Appo had taken charge of their two battalions when Cody and Rex had left, and Rex was happy to see that the men all still looked like they were in one piece.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“There are hundreds of archipelagos on this planet,“ Rex said. “The Lanai have said that you're welcome on any of them.“</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Rex still wasn't quite sure how Obi-Wan and the Lanai were able to communicate so effectively. The Lanai didn't speak Basic, and their own language wasn't something that could be spoken with human vocal cords. And while Cody and Rex still managed basic communication, Obi-Wan seemed able to share much more complex ideas.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“More than welcome,“ Cody added. “From what the General says, the Lanai have been waiting for us to come.“</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“Waiting for us, Commander?“ One of the men further back asked.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“Just blame it on Force osik,“ Cody said, shaking his head. “I know that's what I'm doing.“</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>The men accepted that with the grace of all those who'd had to deal with crazy Jedi on a regular basis. Rex felt something in him loosen.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>The two battalions in front of them were just the vanguards, soon more brothers would come, would make a home here. And the Jedi, too. They might leave some Jedi on Coruscant, but the war had changed them, had forged their lives to those of the Vod’e.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Rex hoped that Ahsoka would come as well. She wasn’t a Jedi anymore, but they’d make a place for her here anyways. He hoped that General Skywalker would visit, would bring his two ad’ika.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>After a life of war, they’d all have peace.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>It was more than Rex had thought he'd ever get. The war over. A home for he and his brothers. Obi-Wan and Cody and him together and happy.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>A future.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>They had a future.</em>
</p>
<p>—</p>
<p>Obi-Wan left within a week.</p>
<p>He had planned on going alone, had not known how to ask anyone to come with him. Had not even known whether he wanted anyone to come with him or not.</p>
<p>Cody and Rex had refused to let him leave without them.</p>
<p>Anakin and Ahsoka had been there to wish them farewell, Luke and Leia in their arms, though the look in their eyes had been one of loss and confusion.</p>
<p>They didn't understand why Obi-Wan was leaving.</p>
<p>Someday, Obi-Wan thought, he might tell them the truth. Might tell them about all of the things that might have happened but didn't.</p>
<p>But not now.</p>
<p>For now, Anakin had a wife and children to return home to. Ahsoka had a life to build for herself.</p>
<p>So he told Anakin and Ahsoka goodbye, gave Luke and Leia each a gentle kiss on their foreheads, gently discouraging their attempts to latch onto his Force signature. <em>Good luck</em>, he thought to the two small children. <em>You're going to make it.</em></p>
<p>And with that Obi-Wan turned away. Away from Anakin and Ahsoka, away from the twin lights still reaching for him, away from the Jedi Temple that stood tall behind them.</p>
<p>Cody and Rex were at the foot of the small ship, waiting for him.</p>
<p>—</p>
<p>
  <em>His General was a nerd, Cody thought fondly, as Obi-Wan gestured excitedly at the ancient Jedi text he’d been reading. His eyes were alight with happiness and there was a sense of peace and serenity around him that was still too rare to see, but all the more precious for how long and hard they’d worked to help it exist.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“—and look here, where it discusses different ways to harmonize one’s presence in the Force with that of an animal’s. It’s not so different from what we’re taught in the Temple, but I believe there might be further implications from this method that could greatly increase a Jedi’s ability to create a—“</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Across the room, Rex was nodding along, and if, like Cody, half of what Obi-Wan was saying was going over his head, it didn’t change the fact that Rex was listening seriously and intently.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>They both did their best to understand their General when he talked about his discoveries, but frankly, a lot of the more Force-centered conversations were beyond their purview.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>But Obi-Wan enjoyed talking about it, enjoyed trying to explain, and so whether or not Cody understood the finer details he’d continue to listen, because it was something Obi-Wan cared about.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Plus, even if Cody didn’t understand all the esoteric details, he understood that it was something that made Obi-Wan happy, and that in and of itself was enough.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“—in fact, I’m sure if I’d been adept at using this harmonization technique I would have had much less of a problem with that gundark nest—“</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“Which gundark nest?“ Rex teased. “The first one, the second one? The one you’re pretending never happened? The—“</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Obi-Wan rolled his eyes. “—anyways, perhaps when we venture off of Ahch To I’ll have more opportunity to practice this method. Unfortunately, or fortunately, we’re not likely to be attacked by large predators here.“</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Cody closed his eyes, because Fett help him, even if the Jedi managed to find a way to stop the accelerated aging the way they were hoping to, his Jedi was going to give him gray hairs long before Cody was ready for them.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“I don’t think we’re supposed to want to be attacked by large predators, General,“ Cody pointed out.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“It’s not that I want us to be attacked by large predators, Cody,“ Obi-Wan assured him. “But based on past experience, it would be foolish of me to assume that I won’t, inevitably, find myself on the run from gundarks or krayt dragons or—“</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“He’s got a point, Cody,“ Rex, the traitor, agreed. “Trouble does tend to find us.“</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“Perhaps if we didn’t go looking for it, it’d have a little harder time.“</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>That got him offended looks from both Rex and Obi-Wan. “Now, Cody, I don’t go looking for—“</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Cody gave him his best do-you-really-think-I’ll-believe-that look, and Obi-Wan hesitated.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“I just follow other people into trouble,“ Rex said, looking delighted at the way Obi-Wan seemed to be reconsidering his argument. “Someone needs to be there to provide backup.“</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Obi-Wan let out an offended huff. “I still maintain that I don’t go looking for trouble.“</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Cody just let out a disbelieving hum. He might concede that some of the trouble that found his General really was just the fact that his General’s luck was probably historically the worst ever, but there was also the fact that his General saw the metaphorical neon signs flashing ‘trouble’ and consistently made a beeline straight for it.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“You can always—“</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“Be there to haul you out of it?“ Cody suggested before Obi-Wan could say anything about staying away. “Yes, I suppose I can.“</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Obi-Wan’s eyes went soft and surprised, the way they still did any time he or Rex made mention of the fact that they intended to stay by Obi-Wan’s side.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“And who knows, maybe one of these days I’ll be the one to find trouble and the two of you will have to be the ones to bail me out of it.“</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Obi-Wan smiled. “Commander, you are trouble.“</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Well, his General wasn’t wrong.</em>
</p>
<p>—</p>
<p>Obi-Wan thought this might actually be a first, at least in regards to the recent history of the loops.</p>
<p>Him, Rex, and Cody, together on a ship as they fled Coruscant. There had been a few times when all three of them had been together and fleeing, but that had almost always included other people, other members of the 212<sup>th</sup> or 501<sup>st</sup>, Ahsoka, Padme, the twins, even Anakin a few times.</p>
<p>Mind, this time they weren’t so much fleeing Coruscant as just leaving. Even if Obi-Wan did still feel a little bit like he was running away.</p>
<p>But no one was trying to kill or capture them, and the only enemy was Obi-Wan’s own mind, and Obi-Wan thought that was a different enough situation to not count.</p>
<p>“Can I just say, sir, that this Jedi osik is the worst.“ Cody was frowning over the documents that Mace had provided Obi-Wan before they’d left.</p>
<p>“Not vague enough for you, Cody?“ Obi-Wan asked, and he even managed an actual smile.</p>
<p>Cody glared at him.</p>
<p>Rex—who had already abandoned the riddle-laden documents for the time being in favor of finding food—gave Obi-Wan a long-suffering look. “What <em>is</em> it with Jedi and being cryptic bastards who hide information under at <em>least</em> three layers of cryptic misdirection?“</p>
<p>Obi-Wan shrugged. “At least it isn’t more.“</p>
<p>Cody pointed to one of the documents that they were pretty sure they’d actually deciphered. “Five, Obi-Wan, five layers of riddles and cryptic nonsense.“</p>
<p>Obi-Wan wasn’t sure what had caused the Jedi who had abandoned the first Jedi Temple to hide the instructions back to the Temple in riddles and cryptic verses. Perhaps it had been to ensure that whoever next found it would have earned the right to return. Perhaps it was to try and protect the location. Or perhaps it had been someone like Yoda, who derived enjoyment from driving others slightly insane, and they’d thought it would be funny to make future Jedi want to bang their head on a hard surface.</p>
<p>“Yes, well, it was an enjoyable mental exercise, was it not?“</p>
<p>Cody made a face, as though he wasn’t sure if he wanted to agree or not.</p>
<p>“As long as we end up where we’re supposed to be,“ Rex decided. “Because if we went through all that work and still never find this mythic Jedi Temple, I’m pretty sure Cody’s going to shoot something.“</p>
<p>Obi-Wan raised an eyebrow. “Just Cody?“</p>
<p>Rex shrugged. “All right, so I might shoot something too. But that’s neither here nor there, because we’ll find the place.“</p>
<p>Obi-Wan hoped he was right.</p>
<p>They’d already been traveling for quite some time. Following the instructions they uncovered, zigzagging through the galaxy based on the whims of the long dead Jedi.</p>
<p>And it was… it was good. For now. He had a destination, had somewhere to go.</p>
<p>He certainly wouldn’t complain about the journey. He was with Cody and Rex, and there were few people he’d rather be with.</p>
<p>But he couldn’t travel forever.</p>
<p>He needed…</p>
<p>Well, he didn’t know what he needed.</p>
<p>He just hoped he’d be able to find it anyway.</p>
<p>—</p>
<p>
  <em>Cody watched from his vantage point as Rex and Obi-Wan argued over the fish.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>It was… it was ridiculous, is what it was. But also sort of heartwarming. Obi-Wan was gesturing, a bundle of spices in his hand as Rex held the pan with fish out of reach.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>It was the most relaxed Cody had seen Obi-Wan look… in possibly ever, but certainly since everything with the Sith and the loop and the—well, since everything. It was as though Obi-Wan was remembering that he was allowed to live.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“You can’t use those spices on fish, Obi-Wan!“ Rex’s voice was a mix of serious and teasing, trying to take the opportunity to pull Obi-Wan further into the argument, and further into the liveliness he was showing.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“I’ll have you know I’ve used this recipe before and it’s absolutely delicious, Rex!“</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“No. Not happening. You’re not going to be ruining the fish I caught with those spices!“</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Obi-Wan huffed, lunging forward as Rex danced away with the fish still in hand. Cody had to cover his mouth to stop from laughing and giving away his position. “First of all, Cody caught the fish—“</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“Same thing.“</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“And second, I wouldn’t ruin the fish!“ Obi-Wan sounded offended at the very thought.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“Who here is from a water planet full of fish, Obi-Wan? That’s right, not you.“</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>That actually made Obi-Wan pause, and Cody could see that he was giving Rex an analyzing look, looking genuinely curious. “Did the Kaminoans let you cook?“</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Cody almost snorted at that, because of course the Kaminoans hadn’t let them cook, and they certainly hadn’t provided spices for it. But there had been a lot of things that the Kaminoans hadn’t wanted them to do that they’d found ways to do anyway.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“Like a little thing like lack of permission was going to stop us,“ Rex pointed out, taking the momentary advantage to try and steal a couple of spices from the bag that Obi-Wan had set to the side.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Obi-Wan made a horrified sound. “No. No. You are not going to use those on fish. You just aren’t.“</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“Come and stop me,“ Rex taunted.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Obi-Wan took the taunt as the invitation it was and threw himself forward.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Cody sighed, not at all surprised as the pan of fish and all the spices went flying.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>He stepped out of his hiding spot where he’d been watching the two of them. He grabbed the fish and quickly rinsed it down, ignoring the spices that both Rex and Obi-Wan had been advocating for. He searched until he found his own favorites.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Obi-Wan was making delightful little sounds. Rex had pinned Obi-Wan beneath him and was kissing him senseless and both Obi-Wan and Rex had forgotten all about the fish they were supposed to be making for dinner. Cody would consider joining them, but the look on Obi-Wan and Rex’s faces when they realized that Cody had prepped the fish his way was going to be too much fun to miss.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Plus, he could kiss them both while the fish cooked.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Between the three of them, they could multi-task well enough to ensure that the fish didn’t burn.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Probably.</em>
</p>
<p>—</p>
<p>Obi-Wan had sensed the beacon of darkness almost immediately upon landing on the island. It had almost been enough to make him walk back up the landing ramp of the ship and leave.</p>
<p>He wanted <em>nothing</em> to do with the dark. Wanted to run far, far away.</p>
<p>But while the darkness lurked along the edge of his senses, the warm light of the Force seemed to tug him ever forward.</p>
<p>The three of them were welcomed by a group of Lanai, who, despite the isolation of the island, seemed not at all surprised to see them.</p>
<p>They didn't share a language, Obi-Wan realized quickly, but they shared a connection within the Force. It seemed almost as soon as they'd landed the ship, months into their journey to find this small planet hidden within the Outer Rim, that the Lanai had come to them, pulling them from the ship and onto the island.</p>
<p>They'd led Obi-Wan almost immediately to what had once been a Jedi temple, showing Obi-Wan the work that had been done to maintain it.</p>
<p>Not soon after, one of the older of the Lanai women had taken one look at him, Cody, and Rex and had seemed to determine that they were too tired to still be standing and had shoo-ed them away to small huts that, strangely enough, seemed to have already been prepared for them.</p>
<p><em>More</em>, one of the Lanai told him, and Obi-Wan was surprised at how clearly the concepts could be communicated without words through the Force. <em>You will chase out the darkness, and then you will bring us more</em>.</p>
<p>She then disappeared, leaving Obi-Wan alone in his new hut before he could try and communicate to her that he was most certainly the wrong person for whatever she had in mind.</p>
<p>—</p>
<p>
  <em>Cody woke to Rex's breath warm against the back of his neck, and to empty arms and already-cool blankets that meant that Obi-Wan had woken and left quite some time ago.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Despite himself, Cody still felt the first stirrings of panic, but it was easier now, to push that panic down and away.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Cody carefully maneuvered himself out of Rex's hold, and his vod grumbled in his sleep, hand grasping for him.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Rex had never much liked sleeping alone, Cody thought fondly. He took his pillow and pushed it into Rex's arms so that he had something to cuddle with, now that both of his bedmates had abandoned him. In his sleep, Rex took the bait, pulling the pillow in close as though to keep it from escaping.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Cody snorted a little, smiling fondly down at Rex before moving quietly through the silent hut to the door.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>The sun was still only just coming up when he slipped outside, but he spotted Obi-Wan immediately, sitting precariously on top of a stone pillar. From this distance he looked as though he was meditating, though as Cody drew closer he could see that Obi-Wan's eyes were open, his head tilted slightly towards the sky.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Cody chose the stone pillar beside Obi-Wan's perch and quickly clambered to the top.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Obi-Wan didn't glance at him, but Cody saw his lips tug into a fond smile.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“You're awake early,“ Cody said, keeping his voice quiet so as not to disturb the peaceful moment.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“Not so early,“ Obi-Wan answered. “The Lanai were awake before me.“</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Cody suspected that was because, as far as he could tell, there always seemed to be a Lanai or two awake here. “Oh, well in that case. Clearly not awake all that early at all.“</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Obi-Wan smiled at him. “I was just enjoying the beautiful morning.“</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Morning was definitely a stretch, but Cody had to admit that Obi-Wan was right, it was beautiful.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Cody tilted his own head back, watching as the stars started slowly vanishing from sight as the sun crept into the sky.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“Leaving me to wake up alone is just cruel.“</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Cody tilted his head to take in his brother glaring at them from the ground. “You drove us both away with your snores.“</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“I do not snore,“ Rex grumped, but he found his own stone pillar to clamber on top of.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“No, you don’t,“ Obi-Wan agreed. “That would be Cody.“</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Cody sent Obi-Wan a betrayed look. He most certainly did not snore!</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Obi-Wan met his eyes, smiling. “But either way, I didn't leave because of the snoring that may or may not have been taking place. I was just taking a moment to appreciate the beauty.“</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Cody saw Rex look around, taking in the rising sun over the water, the peaceful way the grass seemed to shift in a gentle breeze.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“It is beautiful.“</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Obi-Wan was watching the two of them now, and Cody felt his cheeks warm as Obi-Wan nodded. “Truly the most beautiful sight I'll ever see.“</em>
</p>
<p>—</p>
<p>The cave was dark and cold.</p>
<p>It didn't help that Obi-Wan was still wet from his short swim in the water. He pulled off his robe—and really he should have taken it off before he jumped into the pit—setting it down on the ground.</p>
<p>The Force was quiet, cautious.</p>
<p>Obi-Wan stepped forward, eyeing the strange wall in front of him with what he hoped was the proper amount of trepidation.</p>
<p>He didn't know what sort of mineral this cave was made of, what sort of stone could be so dark yet reflect Obi-Wan's face back at him as well as any mirror.</p>
<p>
  <em>Look. Look and see.</em>
</p>
<p>Obi-Wan wasn't sure he wanted to see.</p>
<p>Still, he stepped forward until he was just in front of the wall. It had been shattered, leaving cracks that stretched across the wall. Obi-Wan took a deep breath, before carefully reaching out, letting his hand brush against the smooth surface.</p>
<p>The cold of the wall seemed to sink into his skin, reaching into his very bones. The cracks disappeared, and Obi-Wan could see himself clearly.</p>
<p>There was a small red burn against his head, where a blaster bolt had been knocked aside, and his palms showed signs of nails having dug into them hard enough to make them bleed.</p>
<p>And Obi-Wan knew, suddenly and with certainty, what he was seeing.</p>
<p>The image in front of him smiled a little, and the expression—meant to reassure—looked like a broken mask.</p>
<p>Obi-Wan gasped a little, and heard the gasp echo back, back, back. He tore his eyes from the image in front of him to see that behind the Obi-Wan in front of him stood yet another Obi-Wan, with torn and bloody hands. And another behind him, eyes wide in a too-thin, too-pale face. Behind him another Obi-Wan, closer in image to how Obi-Wan looked now. And behind him another, and another.</p>
<p>Each face his own, and Obi-Wan could see hints of what they'd been, the short, painful lives that had been theirs.</p>
<p>
  <em>This is you.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Unbroken.</em>
</p>
<p>The figures in front of him <em>looked</em> broken. Looked inches away from losing all hope.</p>
<p>Obi-Wan swallowed hard, slowly turning. He stared back at himself, and this Obi-Wan's eyes looked like death itself had taken root in them.</p>
<p>He looked further, seeing him edge closer and closer to something undefinable.</p>
<p>The image seemed to shatter as one of the Obi-Wan's further down the line stepped forward.</p>
<p><em>This is you</em>.</p>
<p>His eyes were a bright amber. “Obi-Wan Kenobi. The man who couldn't save himself.“ The words were soft, and though they were barely above a whisper, Obi-Wan could hear his own amusement.</p>
<p>“I could say the same for you.“ Obi-Wan's voice shook, and there was a cold fear deep in his soul. Is this what might have been? Is this what Palpatine had wanted?</p>
<p>The image laughed. Obi-Wan had almost expected the sound to be a cackle, the way Palpatine's laughs had sounded. But no, it was Obi-Wan's laugh, the one that slipped out when he was genuinely amused. “I broke my chains, Obi-Wan. I saved myself.“ The mirror image tilted his head, smile sharp. “I would have saved myself so much time, so much pain, if I hadn't been so afraid.“</p>
<p>“And how much of the galaxy did you break?“ Obi-Wan asked. “While breaking your chains.“</p>
<p>“Only the parts that needed breaking.“ The image stepped closer. “Sometimes things need to be broken, to be remade stronger.“</p>
<p>“Like we were,“ Obi-Wan whispered. “Broken down, over and over, until we could become this?“</p>
<p>Obi-Wan's image raised his arms, gesturing to himself. “And what's wrong with this? I saved us, Obi-Wan. I tore Palpatine from his throne, crushed those that would have tried to chain us, brought peace to a galaxy that only wanted war.“</p>
<p>“Pretty words.“ Obi-Wan shook his head. “But empty ones.“</p>
<p>“I'm not the one who’s empty.“ The image smiled. “You're broken Obi-Wan.“ The image raised a hand, and Obi-Wan gasped as cold seemed to leech into his skin. “We can be remade.“</p>
<p>The image in front of him seemed to waver, flickering between this dark image and a more perfect mirror image.</p>
<p>Where Obi-Wan's shoulders hung heavy, this dark version stood strong. Where Obi-Wan felt like a weak, empty shell, this Obi-Wan seemed full of purpose and strength.</p>
<p>Where Obi-Wan felt broken, this dark, twisted image seemed unfairly whole.</p>
<p>“You're right.“ The words were torn from him, a truth he couldn't deny. “I'm broken.“ His hand felt unbearably heavy as he reached up to touch the hand of his mirror image.</p>
<p>The image smiled. “Let me remake us. We can save ourselves.“</p>
<p>Obi-Wan closed his eyes, he could almost imagine his soul, a tattered, broken, shattered thing. No matter how much he might try, he didn't think that it would ever be again what it had once been.</p>
<p>Some wounds <em>didn't</em> heal.</p>
<p>“I'm sorry.“ And he was, so sorry for this image of himself, this image that might have been, could have been, perhaps <em>would</em> have been. “I'm sorry that no one saved you. I'm sorry that I wasn't strong enough to save you. That we weren't strong enough to save ourselves.“</p>
<p>Some wounds didn't heal. But Obi-Wan would. Maybe not back into who he'd once been, maybe he’d always be a little broken, but he'd still heal. He opened his eyes, meeting those amber ones with his own. But this man, this man he might have become, he would never get a chance.</p>
<p>“But I won't become you.“ Obi-Wan might have been broken, but he would rather break himself then let others break in his place. And this other Obi-Wan, this other Obi-Wan wanted the world to break like he'd been forced to.</p>
<p>The dark version of himself bared his teeth. “The mirror shows truth, Obi-Wan. I am inevitable.“</p>
<p>Obi-Wan smiled, and there was no joy in it, just understanding. “No. You're not.“</p>
<p>The image smiled at him, a dark terrible thing. “Look at me! Look at what you will become.“</p>
<p>The words, the terrible certainty with which his mirror image spoke them, shot straight to that terrified part of him that was afraid to open his eyes to see that he'd never been broken free. To find that he was trapped in a loop he couldn't ever escape.</p>
<p>“I'm truly sorry that no one saved you,“ Obi-Wan said again, and his soul ached at the thought of what might have been. That this mirror image had never had Cody and Rex, had never had Boil and Mace and Yoda and Quinlan. Had never been saved. “But I'm not in need of saving. Not anymore. I'm free.“ And maybe that wasn't completely true, but now the bonds that held him back were a different kind.</p>
<p>And maybe Obi-Wan still couldn't save himself. But that didn't mean he couldn't be saved.</p>
<p>That didn't mean he couldn't heal.</p>
<p>The mirror seemed to lengthen, and once again Obi-Wan was confronted with his own face, echoing over and over in an endless line before him.</p>
<p>He'd been trapped for so long. In a world where none of his choices mattered.</p>
<p>Except they had. In all the small ways that his choices made him, <em>him</em>. His choices had <em>always</em> mattered. Somehow all those choices, all those loops, had led to this. To now.</p>
<p>
  <em>This is you.</em>
</p>
<p>Yes, Obi-Wan thought, and somehow it didn't hurt. <em>This is me.</em></p>
<p>Obi-Wan turned away, and the mirror <em>shattered</em>.</p>
<p>—</p>
<p>
  <em>Obi-Wan looked a little bemused. “What is this?“</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“It's a sailboat,“ Rex told him, smiling proudly. “The Lanai had a few of them stored away, and Cody and I managed to get this one back up to snuff.“</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Obi-Wan gave the boat another politely admiring look. “Congratulations on your efforts, it looks very nice.“ He paused for a long moment. “And, what do you intend to do with it?“</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Rex rolled his eyes, but it was Cody who answered, coming up behind Obi-Wan. “We're going to go sailing. Clearly.“</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“And you're coming with us,“ Rex added. “Please.“</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Obi-Wan was giving the boat another once over, clearly trying to decide whether he felt the boat was seaworthy. “I'm... coming with? Where are we going?“</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“We're not going anywhere,“ Cody said, and Rex had to hide a grin at the exasperated look he shared with Rex as he handed over the basket stuffed full of food for the day. “Sailing is about just being on the water.“</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“Right.“ Obi-Wan looked as though they were trying to explain the treatise of Lanshaw to him. Though, Rex thought, Obi-Wan would probably think that made more sense.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“It's a relaxing and enjoyable activity. That's all,“ Rex added. “I know that's a bit of a foreign concept for you. But you really ought to give it a try.“</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“I relax,“ Obi-Wan protested.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“Oh, really?“ Cody asked, and his voice slipped into something challenging, as he stepped into the sailboat. “Prove it.“</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Obi-Wan's eyes narrowed a little and then, demonstrating that he was cut from the same cloth as Skywalker and Ahsoka, he took the challenge immediately, following Cody into the sailboat. “Don't mind if I do.“</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Rex snorted a little. “We're both very proud of you, General.“</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Obi-Wan sniffed, putting up an affronted air. “Your faith in my relaxing capabilities astounds me.“ His eyes roved over the boat, clearly trying to take it all in. “What would you like me to do?“</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Rex laughed, leaning forward so that he could brush a quick kiss across Obi-Wan's lips. “Cody and I know what we're doing. You just sit there and prove to us how good you are at relaxing.“</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“But—“</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Cody passed him from behind, carefully prepping the ship to glide out on the water. “No, General.“</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Obi-Wan sighed, looking a little put out, but he got distracted quickly. “Where did you learn to sail?“</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“Fett thought that we needed at least a little bit of something that wasn't war. So during Kamino's dry season—“</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“Kamino has a dry season?“ Obi-Wan muttered, sounding skeptical. Which was fair.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“Less wet season, anyway,“ Rex continued. “They taught us how to sail.“</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“Still more storm than anything, but we'd get a few nice days.“ Cody smiled a little, and Rex thought he saw a hint of nostalgia in his vod's eyes. “I used to think that if we ever saw freedom that would be what it felt like.“</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Obi-Wan's eyes softened. “Oh, Cody.“</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Rex quickly took over what Cody had been doing as Cody turned toward Obi-Wan, striding the few steps across the boat to pull Obi-Wan into a kiss.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>The two of them were occupied for a long moment as Rex got them out into the water, a gentle wind pushing lightly at the sail.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“And is freedom everything you'd hoped it would be?“ Obi-Wan asked, and Rex noted smugly that the General's voice was a little strained with desire, Cody clearly knew what he was doing.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“Everything and more.“</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>From where Rex was watching his brother kiss Obi-Wan senseless, the sky and sea stretching out ahead of them, as bright as the future they were going to create, he had to agree.</em>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><div class="children module" id="children">
  <b class="heading">Works inspired by this one:</b>
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